


Blood Type: O Negative

by DyingFable, flowersforfangirls



Series: Alternate!Castiel's [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Also drugs, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Depression, Female Castiel, Genderfluid Castiel, Miscarriage, Multi, Past Rape, Smut, but hey, but they're at that age so, except neither of them are in college, im sorry children, jesus christ theres so much porn, lots a drugs, no detail, smutty smut smut, still not a lot of detail, that's always good right
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-25 19:16:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2633156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DyingFable/pseuds/DyingFable, https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowersforfangirls/pseuds/flowersforfangirls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a part-time art teacher, after coming home all he'd like to do is sleep away the idiotic memories filled with students and just not exist.<br/>But fate has other plans for him.<br/>There's a man on his couch, and it's a miracle he even got through the front door.</p><p>-</p><p>Dean's not having the greatest night of his life. After just being dumped by his boyfriend, he ends up going to the nearest apartment complex and searching for an easy lock to pick. After finding a seemingly odd unlocked door, he decides to crash for the night only to wake up with a knife to his face.</p><p>**Updates are the last Saturday of every month**<br/>Next update: **I'll be posting some small drabbles that relate to the story when I can until we have enough for a new chapter okie dokie we love you all thank you for the kudos and views**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hurricane

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this with an old RP buddy, we were both kind of surprised to be in the situation again but, it seemed to go okay.  
> Warning: if you are NOT okay with drugs or prefer to not read smut (there's nothing wrong with that don't let people fool you you're awesome) then this fic is probs not for you.
> 
> This fic has been edited to be longer, more in depth with detail, but still has the same information and most of the same lines from the rough draft.
> 
> Next Update: Fuck I don't know
> 
> Have a nice day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically each chapter is named after a song I really enjoyed at the time I was writing it so yeah.
> 
> -
> 
> Hurricane - Halsey

Castiel trudged forward, tossing his satchel to the floor and shutting the door. He takes a deep breath, pressing his palms to his eyes to relieve the stress that had been clawing from behind for the past two hours. He was going to start pulling his hair out if one more kid decided to comment on the girth of the penis of one of the statues they'd been studying, so he called the class off early. While being an assistant art teacher did have its good days, this was far from it. His hands let off of his eyes, and he blinks to adjust his vision, continuing into the small living room, hoping just to collapse and not exist for a few hours.

But, of course, fate decided to screw his day up some more.

There was a man on his couch, someone he didn't recognize, just sleeping there. He was fully clothed, thank god, in flannel and jeans, looking peaceful from what little detail Castiel could make out from the backside of him. He nuzzles into the back of the couch, mumbling something incoherent and nearly making Castiel scream. He takes a deep breath, calming himself before taking a few steps back into the kitchen and returning with a small knife, nudging the man with the toe of his shoe and steps back in case he would suddenly attack. "Alright," he breathes out shakily. "I don't know why the hell you're in my apartment, but if you don't give me a good explanation, I'm calling the cops with a knife to your throat."

Dean awoke with a start, seeing a knife pointed in his direction, and eventually seeing an angry looking person attached to the weapon. "Oh... shit. I, um, I'm sorry. My-my boyfriend kicked me out, and I was really high this morning, and your door was unlocked...." he explains, sitting up slowly and raising his hands to show he was unarmed. "Look, I-I'm sorry, okay?"

Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat and took another deep breath. "It-it's fine. At least, I think it is." he chokes out, hoping the bead of sweat passing his cheekbone wasn't as noticeable as it felt. "I'm-I'll just... put this down." he says awkwardly, setting the knife on the coffee table and standing stiffly. "Do you... do you have anywhere else to stay?" he asks shyly, realizing he sounded a bit rude and rambling on to try and apologize. "I mean, it's okay if you stay here for a while, but, is anyone gonna worry about you?"

Dean looked up at the stranger, eyes drooping sadly. "No, my, uh, my brother's with my dad and I..." he looked down at his lap shamefully, rubbing at the nail of his thumb. "It was here or a homeless shelter, yeah, I'm sorry. I can go." he mumbles out, going to stand slowly.

"No!" Castiel blurted, pushing his hands out to stop him from standing. "Um-I-I mean, you can stay! Sure, I'm not the best cook, and I'm sloppy, but you can stay as long as you'd like." he stammered, worrying on the subject of sounding desperate for company. He stares at him for a second; breath frozen in his lungs and face burning at the entire situation and how he was reacting to something so... different.

Dean looked up at him with a doubtful squint. "You do know that I'm a complete stranger, right?"

Castiel gulped, eyes wide and hands starting to shake a bit. "We can change that, right? Here, I'll start. I'm Castiel." he says slowly, fingers twitching anxiously and choking another wad of spit down.

Dean grinned up at Castiel's shaky hands and cautiously covers them with his to calm him. "I'm Dean. Winchester."

Castiel gave a quick smile, jaw clenching in slight thanks before lowering his hands. "So, you got high and your... Boyfriend... dumped you?" he asks, trying to piece together the story from what little Dean had told him.

Dean sighs, leaning back against the couch again. "Not exactly. My boyfriend broke up with me because all I do is smoke weed and eat, and I still didn't have a job, so being kicked out prompted me to smoke, and being high caused me to check every door until I found yours. Lucky you, huh?"

Castiel gave a shy chuckle and nodded. "I... Honestly, wouldn't know what any of that's like. I've never dated, or done drugs. I'm pretty boring, lucky you." he teases, rubbing at his arm bashfully.

Dean grinned and sighed. "So... listen, I don't wanna be rude or offensive or anything. So, y'know, sorry in advance, but, uh... are you a guy or a lady?" he asks, jugular feeling tight for fear at sounding repugnant.

Castiel blushed at the question. "Um, both?" he squeaks, rubbing at his arm nervously. "I-I'm gender fluid. Biologically female." he explains, eyes glancing downward timidly.

Dean shrugged and nodded. "Fair enough." he smiles, pulling his backpack over towards him and rifling through it. "So, you don't mind me staying?" he asks again, still dubious of Castiel's aid.

"Not at all." Castiel reassured him certainly. "But, I'm going to warn you now, my brother likes to drop in and baby me so he might not take your presence too kindly. Don't let him get you down though." he laughs short and weakly, giving a faint smile and cocking his head to see why he was searching. He watched him move intently, amazed at how graceful he seemed for someone who had just woken up after being high enough to enter a seemingly empty apartment. "It-it's kind of late. Do you need me to order some food? Again, I'm not the best cook."

Dean shrugged and pulled out a green pipe, followed by a baby jar filled with weed. "I'm okay. If you're getting some, I'd love some, but you don't have to." he answers with a shrug, opening the small jar and grabbing a pinch.

Castiel eyes the pipe and nodded. "I might have to buy some air freshener as well." he mumbled, moving toward the phone to dial the nearest pizza place.

Dean loaded a bowl, taking a few hits before Castiel walked back into the room. "You wanna try?" he offers, holding the pipe out toward him with a cocked eyebrow.

Castiel tilted his head again, chest hollowing out. "Will it... will it kill me? I mean, I've never done anything like that so if it's gonna kill me then no." he rambles on quietly, slouching his shoulders outward and crossing his arms.

Dean chuckled. "Doesn't kill you. It's a plant. Like, from the ground. It's like eating vegetables."

Castiel eyed the pipe skeptically. "I don't think that counts as your daily five." he murmurs. "But, if it won't kill me or make me sick, then... I guess it wouldn't hurt... to try...." he agrees, looking over at Dean shyly before glancing away again.

Dean grinned and patted the couch next to him. "It's a Sativa, so it'll make you feel really happy and floaty. Here," he explains, handing the pipe and a lighter to Castiel when he sat and listened intently to what Dean told him. "Put the open end in your mouth... good, now light the weed... and breathe in... nice. Now hold it, hold it... okay. Breathe out."

Castiel coughed, smoke flowing past his lips. "Holy-fuck." he chokes out, waving the smoke away with his free hand. "What the- I... oh... Woah." he says quietly, pupils dilating. He glances down at his hands, feeling a small tingle buzz through his body while he blinked to readjust his vision.

Dean grinned. "Yeah, I know. Gimme." he smiles, taking another hit before passing it off to Castiel. "Sativas are great. You're happy and horny, and it's the best." he winks, elbowing Castiel gently.

Castiel nodded, feeling the effects gradually make an appearance. "Holy shit. How the hell am I gonna answer the door when the pizza guy comes?" he chortles, taking another hit.

Dean laughed again. "I know, it's okay though, he probably smokes too." he took a few more hits and laid back, his head shifting in Castiel's lap. "I feel good." he grins, one hand around the top of his head while he brushed Castiel's thigh with his thumb.

"Ditto." Castiel groans, biting his lip and blinking a few stars away. "I could always just tell him it must've been a mistake and just skip dinner." he shrugs, leaning his head over the back of the couch and taking deep breaths to process the feeling.

Dean laughed, almost a giggle and buried his face against Castiel's stomach. "But I'm hungry." he groans, shifting his legs so that the knees pointed to the ceiling.

"I thought you said you didn't care." Castiel laughs, looking down at Dean with stars in his eyes. "Ugh, fine, we can take the food. But you have to get it because I might pull him in and fuck him on the kitchen counter." he giggles, legs clenching up and shifting underneath Dean. "This shit has some really weird side-effects."

Dean squirmed. "You could fuck me. I could go for some fuck." he offers, tilting his head upward and looking sideways at Castiel.

"No, you're gay." Castiel slurs. "I'm not gonna... Force you to have sex. I'm biologically a girl so it would defy your sexuality and I don't trust your offer while you're high off your ass." he huffs, biting his lip again as Dean shifted his head against his thighs and stomach.

Dean laughed again, harder this time. "I'm not gay, dummy. I'm just me. I fuck whoever. I just happened to be dating a dude."

Castiel nodded slowly. "Even if you did want to participate in intercourse with me, I wouldn't know what I'm doing. But I guess that's an upside, you can get me to do whatever you want." he mumbles, not thinking clearly enough to string together his thoughts.

Dean looked up at him in shock. "Wait. You're a...?" he grinned. "No. You're not a virgin. No way." he says through a huffed out laugh.

"Yes way." Castiel laughs. "My brother, Gabriel, he kept a lot of guys away from me. But when I got a binder he was okay with me hanging out. The problem was he always had to be present. No relationships, no sex." he sighs, almost as if he was realizing it all of the sudden. "But yeah, totally a virgin."

Dean raised his brows. "But... you've gotta be at least 20. I'm 20. How... nah. No way." he giggled, shifting his head again.

"I'll be twenty in three months." Castiel laughs hoarsely, biting his lip when Dean moved. "Why is this so shocking to you? There are fifty-year-old nuns who are virgins. Granted, there's no way I could survive as a nun, but, still."

Dean laughed and shook his head. "Sex is so fun. It's so fun. You're missing out man." he grins. "Do you wanna? We don't have to fuck, but... you've at least been eaten out or fingered or something, right?"

"No, nothing sexually related." he blushes, still trying to decide while staring ahead at nothing in particular. "It's up to you, if you can make me want to do it again when I'm not high, then go for it. You'll be the weirdest teacher I've ever had, just so you know."

Dean grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I'll bet. I'm a certified weird-ass sex teacher." he grinned, sitting up and pulling off his flannel and t-shirt. "Alright, allow me to teach you the ways of fucking." he groans out, lifting the shirt over his head.

Castiel's face flushed a bit at the tone used and nodded, watching dopely as Dean stripped down. His mouth felt dry at the sight, and he licked his lips, glancing up and down at Dean.

Dean went to unbutton his jeans, but turned to Castiel. "C'mon, we both have to be naked for this to work." he explains, reaching over and tugging a bit at the collar of his white, button up shirt.

Castiel blushed and looked away, letting out a small breath and speaking quietly. "Do I.. do I have to do anything or do I just take it off? In... in high school, a bunch of girls talked about having to 'earn it' or something, but I don't... I don't know." he says shakily, glancing up and down at Dean unsteadily with a red face.

Dean shrugged. "I mean, if you want, you could give me a blow-job. Or we could make out a bunch or whatever. It's up to you."

Castiel went stiff, not trusting his decisions. "I don't know; I've never done anything like that. What's a blow-job?" he asks, knuckles white as he gripped the neck of his dress shirt, fingers twirling around the collar and top button in interest of the answer.

Dean raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Y'know. Like, oral sex? Basically, you'd just suck on my penis."

Castiel's throat tightened, fingers halting and holding the collar with white knuckles. "I don't... think I know how to make that enjoyable. Is there anything else I can do for you?" he asks, voice sounding tight and distraught.

Dean smiled reassuringly. "Hey. Don't worry about it, okay? This is for you, not me." he explains slowly, trying to keep Castiel calm and relaxed.

"It's for us." Castiel corrected through a mumble. "You've gotta feel good too; otherwise I'll look dumb. I can't just lay there while you whip it out. Something, anything, just name it, explain it, and I'll do my best."

Dean shook his head. "It's fine, C'mere." he says softly, tugging Castiel close by the front of his shirt with a mischievous grin.

Castiel shifted forward, biting his lip and blushing at the abrupt situation. "Fine, but when we're not high, we're researching how to make you feel good too."

Dean nodded and smiled. "Okay." he murmurs before pressing his lips to Castiel's, slow and sure. His tongue swipes at his lower lip, pulling him up onto his lap gradually.

Castiel melted at the touch, giving a quiet mewl and loosening his grip on his shirt. He rubs up against Dean unconsciously, too focused on the intensity of the kiss to think about the motions.

Dean smiles and breaks off for a moment, glancing up and down at Castiel's clothing before moving into another deep kiss, hands snaking up Castiel's thighs and resting steadily on his hips while his pinkies rubbed under the waistband of his slacks. He can't help but smile when Castiel's hands let go of his shirt and moved forward shakily to wrap around Dean's neck. He grinned and undid the buttons on Castiel's shirt, tugging it off of him so he was only in a binder and jeans. He broke off again, hands running up and down Castiel's stomach and chest slowly.

Castiel blushed at the sensation of Dean's calloused hands dragging gently along his skin. "Gabriel's gonna hate this." he giggles, looking down at what little it felt like he was wearing.

Dean grinned again and laughed softly. "Yeah? Good." he chuckles, hands fumbling to unhook the binder.. "Hey, so, um, I don't know how to take these off." he explains, tugging at the lower part of the restricting clothing. "Do you mind...?"

Castiel nods, reaching behind him and undoing the hooks. "I just used a simple one today, guess it was good intentions." he chuckles, slipping it off and tossing it to the side.

Dean nodded, whistling slowly once it was off. "Wow, very pretty." he grins slyly before nudging Castiel to lie back. He straddles him, knees pressed to his apparent side while his hands rubbed slowly up his stomach and toward his chest. He licks his lips, glancing over Castiel's chest before leaning down to gently flick his tongue over a nipple.

Castiel actually moaned for the first time. "Holy- do that again." he groans, hips stuttering upward, but limited by Dean's weight.

Dean nodded, sucking lightly until his nipple was red and puckered. He rubs his fingers up and down Castiel's sides, pinching him a bit when he started to squirm.

Castiel panted, trying to grab at the carpet, but failing to grasp the short strings. "Okay, you're convincing me this is a fantastic thing." he groans, breathing rate increasing a bit while he panted and whined at Dean's movements.

Dean grinned and nodded, tugging at the waistband of Castiel's jeans. There was a knock at the door, and Dean's head jerked up. "Um, pizza." he says awkwardly. "Should I...?"

"You have more clothes on." Castiel nods, pulling the blanket off the couch to cover himself and rolling closer to the couch to keep out of sight.

Dean nodded, practically running to get the pizza, pay for it, and put it in the kitchen before rushing back to straddle Castiel again, pressing another kiss to his lips and massaging his other breast.

Castiel whined through the kiss, arching his upper back into Dean's hand. He nearly whines full on when Dean broke off, nipping and kissing at Castiel's neck while he pinched at Castiel's breast.

Dean grinned and pulled up. "Okay, you ready?" he gasps, tugging at Castiel's jeans curiously but waiting for an answer.

Castiel nodded surely, staring at Dean's careful movements. "Should... should we do this on the bed?"

Dean shrugged. "I suppose." he says with a lopsided smile. "Lead the way."

Castiel squirms out from under Dean and stands, swaying back and forth from having not come down from his high quite yet. "I'd do it on the spare bed, but I don't exactly have it done." he laughs, fumbling to open the door.

Dean shrugged and held Castiel's waist, fingers digging into his hips as he sucked a mark onto his neck. "'S okay."

Castiel leaned into him for a moment before taking a step into the room. "Bed first, unless you'd rather screw me standing."

Dean grinned and gently pushed Castiel back for him to lay on the bed with his hips barely hanging over, pulling everything off from his legs and waist. Dean knelt down between his legs and wrapped them around his neck, gently giving the pink flesh between them a tentative lick while he grabbed at his hips and held them still as possible

Castiel panted and spread his legs a bit; hips stuttering and arching at the faint touch. He grips the sheet and whines, looking down at Dean desperately and throwing his head back when Dean continued and flicked his tongue across his clit, sucking it into his mouth and working it with the tip of his tongue. Castiel went breathless, fingers clenched tight around a fistful of sheets before he finally gave a high, desperate moan while Dean kept at it, sucking on his clit and slipping a finger inside of his slick flesh. Castiel gasped at the intrusion and ground his hips against Dean's hand and face, biting his lip to stifle some of his louder moans and whines for fear of speculations from the neighbors in the morning.

Dean smiled and looked up, licking his clit a few times before adding a second finger and wiggling them both mercilessly. His grin grew wider when Castiel finally gave in and let out a loud moan, in too much pleasure to actually move with Dean and just stuttering his hips and against his fingers.Dean grinned at the noise. "You gonna come?" He murmured against his flesh, giving it some quick flicks with his tongue and rubbing at the clenching walls within Castiel

"I-I-" Castiel stutters out, muscles seizing up and clamping around Dean's fingers before coming with a high pitched cry. He pants while Dean works him through it, wiggling his fingers slowly and giving his clit tiny licks before looking up with a grin.

"Good?" he asks, rubbing at his labia while massaging Castiel's hips with his clean hand

"So good." Castiel pants, grip loosening on the sheets and breathing rate starting to slow. He gives a short groan when Dean nuzzled his sex, inhaling and licking a bit before pulling his hand out.

"Good."

Castiel caught his breath, resting his eyes a bit and taking deep breaths. "So... that was sex?" he asks, breath slowing gradually.

Dean chuckles lowly, wiping at his face. "That was oral sex. There are tons of different kinds."

"It was... nice." Castiel smiles, sitting up slowly and smiling down at Dean. His grin widens when Dean smiles up at him, face shiny from being in his slick.

Dean rubs the front of his jeans, now tenting quickly. "I'm glad." he grunts, about to excuse himself before it caught Castiel's gaze

Castiel notices the thick bulge and feels his breathing rate sped again, licking his lips hungrily before biting them red. "I take it we aren't done?" he asks with a seductive grin.

Dean grins and blushes. "It's okay. I can take care of it myself if you don't feel up for another round."

"I'm up for it." Castiel interrupts, slouching to press a kiss to Dean's lips as he fumbled with the button of his jeans. He moans into the kiss a bit when Dean cups Castiel's jaw gently, stepping out of his pants before kneeling on the bed and pulling away.

"What do you wanna do? I don't want to do anything that'll make you uncomfortable." he asks cautiously, hands rubbing up and down the top of Castiel's thighs.

"I've never... it's more up to you. What position do you regularly use? Castiel asks, angling his head a bit.

Dean shrugged. "Anything. I'm a versatile guy."

"Just...." Castiel pauses for a moment, trying to think through the high. "We can just... I'll get on my hands and knees?" he asks, cocking his head a tad further. His heart sped up when Dean brought his hands to the waistband of his boxers.

Dean grinned, pulling off his remaining clothing and pumping himself slowly. "If that's what you want." he grunts out, eyeing Castiel ravenously.

"Hell yes." Castiel gasps out, glancing down at Dean's hips and licking lips before flipping over and leaning onto his chest and arms with his hips in the air.

Dean smiles and holds his hip with one hand, using the other to guide himself cautiously, groaning as he slid in slowly so he wouldn't hurt Castiel.

Castiel pants at the feeling and reaches back to grab Dean's bicep to steady himself. "I'm not porcelain, do whatever you need to." he orders, arching his back.

Dean nods and snaps his hips into him, thrusting in progressively faster and harder.

Castiel yelps at the sudden speed increase, skin buzzing with pleasure as he feels Dean move back and forth with ease and lack of hesitation. "Fuck, Dean...." he moans as he rocks his hips into Dean, eyes rolling back a bit as he moaned to try and take in more of him.

Dean wriggled his arm from Castiel's grip and wrapped it around Cas' hips to keep him in place, groaning as he pushed into the tight heat again before pulling back and thrusting in again quickly, panting hotly at the whines and moans Castiel emitted without thought. When Castiel grips at the sheets, he moves a bit quickly, grabbing at his wrist and holding them steady while he pressed chaste kisses to his back. After a bit, Dean feels himself getting closer. "You on the pill?" he manages, trying to hold out as long as possible.

"You're fucking lucky I took it this morning." Castiel huffs out, gasping when Dean suddenly thrust in again. He continues to pant and whine as Dean gave a few more hard thrusts before coming inside of him, shaking and groaning at the intensity. Castiel goes breathless for a moment, trying to understand the feeling he was experiencing, but getting cut off by a small whine he manages to gasp out and slumping forward onto the bed.

Dean pulls out slowly and groans, flopping down next to him. "So, yeah. T-That's sex." he pants.

"It's awesome." Castiel slurs, lowering his hips and leaning his back against Dean's chest. He almost purrs when Dean wraps his arm around Castiel, nodding slowly.

"Yup. Now you know." he pants, running his fingers along Castiel's stomach lazily.

"Thank you, I've done more firsts today than I have in my entire life." Castiel smiles, eyes drooping a bit. "We... we've gotta do that more often. It's amazing." he chuckles, eyes finally shutting as he started to drift off.

Dean traces his fingertip across Castiel's soft skin, sighing with a light smile. "I never got your last name."

"Novak, it's weird." Castiel mumbles, nearly asleep.

Dean nods and pulls Castiel onto his chest, nuzzling him. "Good night, Castiel Novak."

"G'night Dean." Castiel yawns, falling limp against Dean's chest when he finally fell asleep.

 


	2. Breathe In, Breathe Out

Dean awoke the next morning alone in Castiel's bed. He lets out a tired grunt and sits up to stretch his back, looking around for any sign of him... or her... whatever Castiel chose to be today. "Cas?" he calls out groggily, mouth dry and cracked.

Castiel poked her head in. "Hey, sorry, I was taking a shower." she chuckles, shyly moving into the bedroom and re-wrapping the towel around her chest as she moved toward the large oak dresser by the door. "Are you hungry? We could probably walk down to a restaurant or something." she offers, looking back at Dean for an answer and pulling the top right drawer open.

Dean shrugs, scooting back to lean against the headboard. "I don't really care." he mumbled, keeping his eyes fixed on Castiel. He hadn't taken the moment to really take in 'her' (at least he figured that was the correct pronoun due to Castiel's slightly higher voice.) appearance. His eyes wander up to the fresh-shaven legs, pale from lack of sun in the approaching winter in Ohio. He notices a few patches missed, but decides it isn't really a big deal when he literally has hair all over his legs.

"Oh c'mon," Castiel coos, breaking Dean from his thoughts. "Don't give me that nonchalant attitude." she chuckles, dropping the towel to get dressed.

Dean laughs and glances up from Castiel's legs, gaze wavering over her hips and lower back then at her soft looking shoulders; making no secret of checking her out. "Really, I'm fine."

"Mhm." Castiel hums, working to hook on her bra. "Come on, you choose the food. I've never been out."

Dean groans, shifting against the headboard to itch at a small scratch that began to appear on his left shoulder. "But I don't know what you like." he whines.

"Food. I like food. Now choose." Castiel laughs breathily, stepping into some panties. "Come on, I can't cook so it's either we go out or you cook."

Dean grins, gaze falling back down to the sheets. "I can cook, or there's that pizza we never touched."

"Pizza for breakfast?" Castiel asks, turning back at Dean to arch a brow before letting it fall again and tilting her head and going back to searching for a shirt. "I guess we could do that. Just have a lazy morning and stuff our faces."

Dean lets his grin soften, but stay, and pushes the white cover and quilt away to stand. "Sounds good to me." he mumbles happily, pulling on his boxers from the night before.

“Great, maybe then I could figure out how to make you feel good." Castiel sighs through a grin, shutting the currently open drawer and opening the bottom one to pull a shift on.

Dean rolled his eyes, turning to face Castiel. "I came, remember? I'm fine."

"No you're not." Castiel muttered, shutting the drawer and standing. "I came before you even stuck your penis in me so I'm therefore gonna learn how to make you feel just as pleased." Castiel smiles proudly, pulling a laundry basket from atop the dresser toward her and rifling for some pants.

Dean grins, taking a few quiet steps forward and hugging around her waist. "Your logic makes no sense." he mumbles, nipping softly at her neck.

Castiel bites her lip, pressing back against Dean. "It doesn't have to make sense to you. Just to me, for you."

Dean smiles against the nape of her neck, hands slipping back and resting on the top of her hips. "If you say so." he mumbles, pressing his palm into the skin to massage Castiel's waist and hips.

"I do say so." Castiel smiles, craning her neck a bit to look back at Dean. "Now let me go heat up the pizza."

Dean instead presses a kiss beneath her jaw, peppering kisses down her neck and shoulder slowly as he continued to work his fingers into her hips.

Castiel leaned further back into Dean's touch, holding a mewl in her lips but letting a small bit emit past. She sighs shakily, pressing her hips back into Dean's palms and reaching out steady herself against the end of the dresser.

Dean turns her to face him, pressing his palms into the hollows of her hips and pressing a light kiss to her lips and tracing his tongue along her bottom lip.

Castiel lets the mewl loose through a small pant, pressing her hands against the top of the dresser as she arched her waist closer to Dean.

Dean feels a bit of his blood rush South and twitch in his groin in attention of Castiel's small, happy noises. "You're really into this aren't you?" he chuckles breathily, not even sure if Castiel could hear from how quiet and gentle it was.

"Excuse me for having a new hobby." She huffs, shaking as tingles of pleasure ran through her blood like a drug. She wraps her arms around Dean’s neck, hitching a leg against Dean's to balance herself.

Dean lifted one knee between Castiel's legs, easy enough for her to rut on without too much trouble. He parts their mouths, giving a seductive grin when Castiel whines a bit, and begins to kiss and nip lightly at her jaw and down her neck.

Castiel choked back a groan, pressing a hand against Dean's chest as her hips stuttered against Dean's thigh.

"That's right baby," Dean encourages in a gravelly tone, pushing Castiel back against the dresser. "Make yourself feel nice."

Castiel whined, biting her lips raw and pressing against Dean as she ground her hips against his leg. "Show me how."

Dean nipped at her neck, grinning up at Castiel. "Gotta do it yourself." he breathes against her collarbone, taking the skin between his teeth and sucking gently to feel Castiel writhe beneath him.

Castiel grunted in annoyance, gripping at Dean's shoulder with her free hand. "If I keep this up I'll ruin my underwear, so it's bed or floor." she pants, rolling her tongue over her bottom lip and feeling the last bit of toothpaste stick and burn in the chapped cracks.

Dean grinned and pulled her panties down, rubbing his thumb over Castiel's clit and seeming to ignore her.

Castiel bit her lips red and whined, pressing against his hand for more friction.

Dean removed his hand, instead lifting her onto the dresser and pulling Castiel's panties off fully before spreading her legs and rubbing the labia and clit gently. He pushes her t-shirt up, sucking a mark onto the flesh connecting her breast to her upper chest, then using his free hand, to slip the strap from her shoulder and tug the fabric down as he took her nipple into his mouth.

Castiel threw her head back and moaned, arching her upper back into Dean's mouth and struggling to shift her hips down against Dean's hand any further.

Dean grinned and kept at it, rubbing and rolling Castiel's nipple between his teeth gently, pressing the tip of his tongue against the tip and feelings himself grow hard at the moans and pants Castiel continued to reward him with.

Castiel tenses up, wrapping a hand around Dean and tugging at the lower hairs on his head. "Fuck," she hisses, arching her back against Dean and groaning.

Dean grins against her breast, using his free hand to pull his aching cock from his boxers and giving himself small strokes as he continued to rub Castiel's clit a bit faster.

Castiel groans at the small sight she can see past Dean and then throws her head back with a high pitched whine that gradually developed into a moan as she lost herself again.

Dean feels her tense up again, and pulls his head away to press kisses against Castiel's chest and collar bone. "It's okay, just let it go." he mumbled against her chest, pressing his thumb up against her clit to encourage her to come.

Castiel whines, grinding against Dean's thumb and coming with a small cry.

Dean works her down from her high and pulls her up off the dresser, still stroking himself slowly. "Good?"

Castiel nods lazily, trying to catch her breath. "Thanks, I didn't know I need that."

Dean chuckles. "Everyone can use morning sex. It's too good to not have."

Castiel grinned appreciatively. "The reason I showered was to wash up for work, now I've gotta do it again." she pouts sarcastically, adjusting her bra and lowering her shirt again.

Dean shrugged, spitting onto his hand and stroking himself faster. "Sorry, just got caught up in the moment I guess." he pants. "Is your brother supposed to be coming over?"

"I never know when he'll pop in." Castiel shrugged. "Here, let me help." she sighs, crouching down. "I think I can discover the basics of a 'blowjob' as I go. It's simple enough not to bite and use your tongue as you would use your fingers to me. There's a science to it, I believe."

Dean nods, pressing the sticky tip to her lips. "Don't go too deep at first, and absolutely no teeth like you said. Those are just the basics from what I've learned about giving them."

Castiel nods, opening her lips slowly to take in Dean. Her tongue rolls up against the bottom as she moves forward slowly until she starts gagging at the lack of room in her mouth. She notices a bit more left to take in so she continues on, ignoring her throats warning and swallowing a bit.

Dean brushes her bangs from her eyes and looks down at her with gentle eyes. "Hey, don't go too deep, remember?" Don't want you to hurt yourself or anything."

Castiel goes to nod but stops herself when she remembers her current situation. She lets off a bit, sliding back and popping off to cough. "I never was that good at scientific reasoning anyway." she mumbled, choking up and coughing into her elbow.

Dean gives her a reassuring smile as she stood. "It's okay. I mean, obviously, if you still wanna try, I'd be more than willing. But it's fine, really. I can take care of myself." he chuckles weakly, ignoring the thought of how cliche it seemed to sound.

Castiel tried to hide her pout. "I'd like too, but I don't know what I'm doing." she mumbled, pulling some sweatpants from the laundry basket and stepping into clean panties. "I'll leave you to it and make the pizza." she sighed, pulling on the sweatpants and heading toward the door.

Dean catches her hand and tugs her back. "Hey, it's okay. Don't beat yourself up about it, okay?" he reassures her, pecking her cheek.

Castiel nods with a weak smile, tugging free and closing the bedroom door as she left.

Dean sits on the bed and works to fix his... 'problem' before cleaning up and heading back toward the kitchen in (arguably) clean boxers from his backpack.

Castiel sets the plates onto the table, the scent of grease and cheese in the air as she moved to grab cups and filling them with water. She sits in silence, watching him move around. She's deep in thought for a moment then looks at her pizza shyly. "This is gonna sound really cliche but what are we?" Was all that to 'get through the high' or are we just-" she chokes up a second, not entirely fond of the word she was about to speak. "-'fuckbuddies'?"

Dean shrugs, sitting across from her at the small table and pulling his pizza toward him. "I'd like to be your fuck buddy. I don't know if you want me to stay, though. I'm kind of just a useless stoner."

Castiel looks up at him, baffled at how Dean described himself. "You are not some 'useless stoner'. You are a human being. Doing weed doesn't make you anything less or broken or flawed. You are not an ill presence contaminating my home, Dean." she huffs, taking a small bite only to perk up and set it back down while she stood and opened the cabinet above the stove, shuffling through bottles and boxes of medicine.

Dean frowns, turning to look at her as she pulled down a box and a bottle of pills. "That's not what I meant. What I mean is I'm a dick and I never work and all I ever do is bitch and moan and smoke."

Castiel scoffed, bringing the medicine to her seat and fumbling with the box. "You are not a dick. You may have one, but you are not your genitalia. You're, honestly, one of the nicer people I've met in my few days of living here. Half of my neighbors won't even look at me, let alone acknowledge my greetings." she mumbled, poking at the tinfoil and pulling a small white tablet from the package. "If you don't want to 'bitch, moan, and smoke' then you have to force yourself to do something other than that. If you want to contribute to something be my guest, do whatever you like. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life nor will I kick you out of my house because of it."

Dean raises an eyebrow at her frustrated tone, watching her take a sip of her water and pop the first pill into her mouth before swallowing and opening an orange prescription bottle. "You're not mad, are you?"

"No, just a little aggravated that you seem to downgrade yourself." Castiel sighs, pulling out a white tablet with a green and brown line wrapped around it's diameter.

Dean frowns and places a hand on hers. "You okay?"

Castiel nods slowly, glancing down at the bottle in her hand. "Yes. I think. I don't know honestly."

Dean furrows his brow, not really sure what to say. "What's wrong?"

Castiel groaned and leaned back in her chair. "Did you listen to anything I just said?"

Dean hung his head and shrugged. "Sorry."

"Sorry." Castiel repeats for her behalf. "I don't mean to sound snippy."

Dean shrugged and took a bite of pizza. "It's no problem, just do what you gotta do." he mumbled around his mouthful of food, glancing at the box and registering it as birth control but unaware as to what the other was for.

Castiel nods, pushing her plate away and looking down as she fiddled with her hand. She snaps her head up once Dean finishes his pizza, watching him sit on the couch, loading a bowl, and lighting it up. Castiel cleans up the kitchen and sets the leftovers in the fridge before moving to sit next to Dean. She leans her head against his shoulder and sighs, keeping in mind to deny any hits for fear of getting addicted.

Dean smokes a full bowl before setting the pipe on the table and shifting on the couch for Castiel to lay beside him. "What do you do for a living?"

"I teach art lessons Tuesday through Friday, Saturday I work at a nearby bookstore, and Sunday I volunteer at a local homeless shelter." Castiel sighs. "My day off was yesterday, but they called me in to teach a late shift and when I came home you were on my couch."

Dean smiles softly and watched the wall ahead of him. "Are you going to college?"

"Can't afford it." Castiel mumbled. "Gabriel saved up for ages, but then there was an accident and he had to use it."

Dean nodded, leaning his head against hers and holding her hand. He goes to ask about the accident, but decides against it when he thinks about the depressed tone she seemed to use when it came up."

"What about you?" Castiel asks quietly, looking up at him. "Did you ever go to college?"

Dean shrugged. "Been saving up since I was fourteen, signing him up for scholarships... all the money I make from selling bud goes into an account for him." he rambled, obviously forgetting to mention who 'he' was."

"Do you talk about yourself in third person a lot?" Castiel asked, confusion painted across her features.

Dean giggled, obviously reacting to his hit. "No, I mean my little brother. He's sixteen."

"I take it he's with your father? Or have you just been leaving him alone in a motel?" Castiel asks, shifting to sit up and looking down at Dean.

Dean nodded. "I call him at least five times a week. Dad can be... brutal, and Sammy's such a good kid. He's top of his class, super kind, and he's got a girlfriend. I love him more than anything."

Castiel chuckles. "I take it you've been playing the mother role for him, then?"

Dean just nodded, staring up at her with dazed, green eyes. "Pretty much."

"It must have been hard." Castiel nods. "You said your father could be brutal, has he abused you two in any way?"

Dean shrugged. "Hits us, calls us names, nothing too bad, though."

"That's terrible!" Castiel huffed, stiffening up. "My parents never did that, even when I came out as gender-fluid. And you shrug it off like it's nothing."

Dean shrugged again. "Could've been worse."

Castiel goes to say it isn't true, then remembers several occasions of her life where, yeah, it could be much worse. "Yeah, you could not exist at all and all that stuff we just did never happen."

Dean looked up at her with eyes full of worry. "Hey, don't worry about it. I'm okay, so is Sam. We're okay, everything's okay."

Castiel nodded glumly, going to reply but getting cut off by a knock at the door. "Shit, that's Gabriel. Put some clothes on." she gasps, pushing herself off of the couch and moving to answer the door.

Dean nodded and managed to sit up before Castiel's brother walked in to see Dean, sitting on the couch in his boxers and surrounded by marijuana smoke.

Gabriel stood shocked for a second, glancing at Castiel then back at Dean. "Who are you?" he barked, clearly upset with the scene before him.

Dean chuckled wildly and waved. "I'm Dean." he giggled with a lopsided grin.

Gabriel turned back at Castiel, looking furious when she ducked her head down. Gabriel moved forward, seeing red. "Wipe that shit-eating grin from your face. What are you doing here?"

"Gabe-" Castiel gritted out, hesitant to speak from how furious Gabriel seemed.

Dean grinned even wider and loaded another bowl, taking another hit and giggling. "I'm fucking your baby sister. That's what I'm doing here."

"Dean-" Castiel hissed in warning, cut off by Gabriel.

"What?" Gabriel asked, fuming now. He takes a few steps toward Dean, swatting the bowl from his hand and swinging at his jaw. "How dare you! You just decided that you'd be good enough to deflower her? What the hell else have you done to her?"

Dean laughed uncontrollably, the swing barely jostling him. "Who the fuck says 'deflower'? I didn't deflower her. I fucked her. _Hard_." he finished, in an almost taunting tone.

Gabriel swung again, pushing Dean against the floor and gripping his shirt. "Stop saying that!"

"Gabe-" Castiel groaned, stiffening up at the sight before moving forward and trying to tug him off.

Dean laughed and stood, walking toward the kitchen and taking Castiel abandoned slice of pizza. "I fucked your baby sister. There's nothing you can do about it. And we're gonna fuck again. She's gonna suck my cock." he chuckles, taking a bite.

Castiel stepped in and stopped Gabriel from attacking and sits him on the couch. hissing a few phrases to get him to behave. "And as for you Dean, the least you could have done was put on some clothes like I asked."

Dean groaned. "I don't have any pants, and I only have one other shirt." he mumbled around his mouthful of food.

Castiel sighed. "I'll do laundry later, then."

"Oh, so what?" Now you're his little maid? He's lucky he's still alive!" Gabriel growled.

"Give him a break, he's on his second bowl today and he's too high to figure out what you're saying." Castiel snaps, trying to block Dean from Gabriel's vision.

"I punched him in the jaw five times! How high are you?" he bellows at Dean.

Dean moved toward the living room and sat on the floor, sitting criss-cross before grabbing his pipes and taking a few more hits. "I need to go to my old place, get my stuff. I have three shirts, some pants, and a gun. That's all though." he slurred.

"Dean you really aren't helping out this situation." Castiel groaned, rubbing at her eyes in aggravation.

"A gun?" Gabriel huffs, looking up from Dean and over at Castiel. "You're letting some thug screw you?"

Dean laughed breathily. "Just 'cause I'm not, like, a fuckin' bible camper doesn't mean I'm a thug." he giggled.

"You're literally smoking crack on my little sisters floor after phrasing that you needed to collect your gun. If that doesn't scream thug then I don't know what does. How long have you even been dating her?" Gabriel huffs, crossing his arms like a child.

Dean snorted, cackling low and wild. He takes a hit, blowing it in Gabriel's face. "It's pot. Very different from crack. And we're not dating, just fucking."

Gabriel's blood boiled. "Oh? And I guess you got her to do your 'pot' too, huh?"

Dean grinned. "She did. She smoked weed and then I ate her out." he giggled, lighting up another puff.

"Dean oh my god." Castiel groaned from across the couch where she'd moved as Gabriel and Dean argued. She pulls a pillow from behind her and presses her face against it in embarrassment.

"So what? You just picked her up off the street and thought you could play macho man and give her some cannabis? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Rude." Dean scoffed. "You're a fucking douche man. Wow. I didn't just pick her up, I fell asleep in her apartment."

"You're the douche!" Gabriel huffed, glaring down at dean. "You just waltzed in and decided it'd be logical to have sex with her? What kind of pot are you smoking?"

Dean's nose shrivels up. "She's a good fucking person. I wouldn't do that against her will."

"I can't even tell if you're being legitimate or not!" Gabriel scoffed.

Dean nodded. "She's fantastic. Y'know she helps homeless people? And teaches about, like, painting and shit? That's fucking amazing."

"Yeah, I know that. She's always done stuff like that." Gabriel mumbled, calming a bit when Dean praised her.

Dean nodded and smiled. "She's letting me stay here when I have no where else to go. She's a god-damn angel."

Castiel looked up from her pillow, face flushed in embarrassment.

Gabriel came down from his tantrum. "You're homeless? Yet you still have some way of getting your pot everyday?"

Dean gave him a harder look. "I _sell_. I smoke what I don't sell."

Gabriel falls silent, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. "That's rough, buddy."

Dean looks back at him, serious now. "You can't imagine. It's for my little brother, Sam, he's a really smart kid, and I want him to be able to go to college someday."

Gabriel looks guilty for a moment, knowing he'd done something similar only for it to fall apart before him. "I-I'm sorry. I should've heard you out, you just looked sketchy and... you know. I didn't want Cassie getting hurt."

Dean looking him straight in the eye. "I know enough when someone is too good to be fucked with." he nodded at Cas. "She's one of them."

Castiel blushed against and covered the pillow over her embarrassed smile.

"Alright, I'll believe you on that." Gabriel nods. "But there are four things that I never want happening involuntarily to her: don't get her addicted to drugs, don't turn her into an alcoholic, don't get her into stripping no matter how much money she could possibly make, and don't get her pregnant. Got it?"

Dean gave Castiel a curious look. "Cas? Are you gonna have kids someday?"

Castiel blinked at the question. "The thought has crossed my mind from time to time. It seemed nice a long time ago, but I'm not sure." she shrugs.

Dean went back to his pipe. "Don't worry man. I'm not gonna do any of that shit."

Gabriel looked hesitant but nodded. "Alright then, it's clear I misjudged you. So tell me about yourself."

Dean slouched, lip twitching in thought. "I grew up in Kansas, mom died when I was four. I ended up raising my brother while my dad was out drinking, I live here now."

"That's gotta suck. Dad kicked out Cas when she was twelve and said she wanted to be a boy and a girl. I was the only one who was old enough and wanted to take her under my wing. I've been in the same boat." Gabriel explains, seeing a symbolic relationship between them.

Dean simply shrugged, looking down at his legs. "Is what it is."

Gabriel nodded, deep in thought as he glanced down at his watch. "Oh, it's almost noon." he gasps, turning to Castiel. "You've gotta get ready. You'll be late for you class." Gabriel huffs, pulling Castiel up from the couch and nudging her toward her room. "I'll get your groceries and medicine. Dean, you do whatever." Gabriel sighed, waving them off, grabbing his keys and heading out of the apartment.

Dean watched Castiel head back to the bedroom and followed her after a moment. "What kind of art classes do you do?"

"A little bit of everything." Castiel sighed, slipping from the sweatpants and pulling some jeans from the laundry basket from before. "It can range from watercolor to clay, sometimes we animate with them.

Dean nodded, grinning as Castiel explained. "That's awesome."

Castiel stepped into the jeans and looked over at Dean. "Do you want to come? Or would you rather talk with Gabriel until I get back?"

Dean shrugged. "I can go, if you don't mind. However, I am very high."

"If you're gonna be a horny mess like last night then I don't think it'd be wise to have you around a bunch of high school students." Castiel chuckles, crouching down and pulling some sneakers toward her. "That is, unless you planned on sneaking into someone else's home."

Dean chuckled. "It's okay. I can handle myself."

"So you're staying?" Castiel asks, lacing her sneakers.

Dean shrugged. "I guess so, what time are you done?"

"Three-thirty. But it's a bit of a walk so probably around four." Castiel sighed, grabbing a comb and forcing it through her short hair.

Dean shrugged, taking the comb from her and gently working through the tangles. "Okay, I can hang out here.

"Okay, Gabriel should be back within the hour to make some food. If he gives you any trouble, just call me. My number's on the marker board on the fridge." she sighs, pulling on a hoodie and throwing a satchel filled with art supplies over her shoulder. "Try and live till I get back." she grins reassuringly, leaving the room and heading toward the front door.

Dean smiled and called after her. "Have fun."

"Oh yeah, hanging out with a bunch of seventeen year olds who don't want to be there. Should be a blast." Castiel grumbled, waving him off and walking out.

Dean sighed and shook his head, flopping back onto the couch. His eyes glance over at the clock on the wall, reading '11:32' and he sighs, knowing it'd be a while before either Gabriel or Castiel returned home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breathe In Breathe Out - Thelma Plum


	3. Medicine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE PORN
> 
> FT. CASTIEL LEARNING TO GIVE A BLOWJOB
> 
> HUAH
> 
> -
> 
> Also, I know this is early but there is some IMPORTANT NEWS:  
> I will be hecka busy all of January, so I won't be updating this because of it's hella amount of words per chapter. So I'm hoping two chapters in December will make up for it????  
> Dollhouse may or may not be updated, and I may or may not have a fic coming in February or March.
> 
> Good news on flowersforfangirls! She's getting a lot better and if you're reading this go you have a nice bath and treat yo self.
> 
> Bad news: It's getting closer to where we left off. So I'll probs have to have a chit-chat and see if I need to fill in for a while idk if so it's gonna turn to shit.
> 
> -
> 
> Yay porn and feels. Keep the memories of the early chapters in this fic because it's about to go straight to hell and you will cry just so you know friend.

Dean ends up watching the TV mindlessly for an hour or so, growing bored and beginning to regret not going with Castiel. He sits up from the couch and eyes his joint, realizing he wasn't really craving for a hit. His head perks up when Gabriel returns, two large, paper bags in his arms. He watches him go to work only to stop when he realizes Dean's still present.

"Are you still high or nah?" he asks, pulling out different vegetables and laying them on the counter.

Dean shrugs, quirking his lip and sighing. "I'd call myself semi-high." he mumbles, standing and wandering over toward the kitchen, sitting at the table and leaning over to rest his chin behind his forearms.

"Good, that means I can ask you a few questions." Gabriel sighs, reaching to grab a knife from the block and starting to slice a carrot. He glances over at Dean, then over at Castiel's medicine. "Question one, does your pot mess with her pills?"

Dean raised his eyes, looking up at the ceiling in thought. "It shouldn't." he sighs, licking his lower lip and shriveling his nose up when he'd realized he'd need to invest in a toothbrush soon.

"Shouldn't?" Gabriel asks, looking a bit pale as he ceased to cut the vegetable. "I don't want to trust your gut, nor mine. So is it a yes or a no? I don't want her getting in any sticky situations." he glares, walking toward the table and grabbing the prescription bottle and box before heading back toward the stove, opening the cupboard above, and putting them away.

Dean shrugs, shoulders rolling around in their socket. "I mean, I'm not doctor, but I've known plenty of girls who've smoke three bowls a day and haven't gotten pregnant."

"Thank god." Gabriel breathes out in relief. "I'm too young to be an uncle. Hell, she's too young to be a mother with some stranger for Christs sake."

Dean nodded, "What else?"

"Were you serious about the entire 'she's gonna suck my cock' thing?" She's still practically a virgin to all this." Gabriel asks shakily, working on the vegetables again.

Dean groaned, rubbing at his blushing face. "Man, I was really high. I'm not gonna pressure her, if that's what you're worried about."

"Good," Gabriel mumbles. "Good. Alright, last question, how serious are you two?"

Dean shrugged again, biting at the inner part of his bottom lip. "I mean, she's a really good person, and she's gorgeous, but... I haven't known her very long. Clearly."

"Fair enough, chicken and veggie soup good with you?" he asks, pulling down the side of the paper bag and studying it's contents.

Dean arched his eyebrows together, kicking his legs beneath the chair and crossing his ankles. "Whatever you want is fine."

"I've already eaten. I'm just here to cook because if she tries to make eggs she'll burn the kitchen down." Gabriel chuckles. "And I'm sure you've eaten too, but my sisters vagina doesn't count so you've gotta eat something that's actually a part of the food pyramid."

Dean gives a hearty laugh, edges of his smile digging into his cheeks. "I had pizza too." he mumbled, pressing his lips together as he tried to quiet his laughter.

"Oh yeah," Gabriel muttered, rolling his eyes. "It's just beaming total health. You can see the nutrients through the grease." he sasses, reaching in one of the lower cabinets to pull out a pot. he sets it in the sink, running some water as he gathered the sliced vegetables up. "I'm making soup and pie, hope you and Cassie have similar tastes in food."

Dean perked up, grinning at Gabriel. "Pie's good with me."

"Pecan, chocolate, or peach?" Gabriel sighs, reaching in the grocery bag to pull out some broth and seasonings.

Dean's eyes light up. "Pecan!" he exclaims, eager like a child.

"You two really do have similar tastes." Gabriel grumbled. "I don't know how you can eat stuff like that, it's gotta be sweet for me to like it."

Dean rolled his eyes. "It is sweet, you have to put in a ton of sugar in pecan pies."

Gabriel gagged. "No, I mean like built in sweet. Chocolate or cherries or something. Pecans can suck an ass." he huffs, shriveling his nose at the thought of pecans in general like Jesus those things taste like shit.

Dean let out a rumbling laugh. "Obviously you've never sucked an ass. It's not all that bad." He smirks, sucking his lips back between his teeth to hold back a small laugh.

Gabriel stopped working, turning his head slowly to look at Dean with wide eyes. "Dear god, you sucked her ass too?"

Dean let out his laugh, shaking his head. "There's been many before her. Lots of guys like getting rimmed."

Gabriel shivered, gagging again. "Ew, god, please stop. I don't need to hear about your sex life." he shuddered, scraping the vegetable slices into his palm and tossing them in the bowl before shutting the water off.

Dean gave a sly grin and shrugged. "Just 'cause your's is probably boring as hell doesn't mean mine is bad."

Gabriel scoffed. "I'm happily engaged, thank you very much. My sex life is great, I just don't want to hear about some other guys. Especially when he's going downtown on my baby sister. Besides, you should be saying that to Castiel if anyone. You're her first, well, everything. It's a lot you're carrying on your shoulders, bub."

Dean arched an eyebrow, lowering the other to cover most of his eye. "I think it's a little weird that you know all this about her. Does she just share everything?"

"While she does lack a verbal filter, no. I've just got ten highly trained agents watching." Gabriel grins, a mischievous glint in his eye as he pulled out a package of chicken and worked at cutting the plastic covering away.

Dean chuckled. "Still think it's weird, but okay...."

"I'm not joking I literally have ten people I know well enough to trust around her scattered between here and her work. If they see something weird I know about it. If someone mugs her, I know about it. Don't underestimate me." Gabriel huffs, cutting the meat quickly with more force and scraping it into the pot.

Dean paled a bit, eyes wide. "And yet none of them told you when a drunk, stoned stranger walked into her apartment and passed out on her couch?"

"They told me you waltzed in. I've got an undercover cop on the left of her with a camera outside her door. Plus there's an ex-assassin living to the right. I knew she'd be fine." Gabriel sighs nonchalantly, stirring the soup before setting it on the stove and flicking it on.

Dean swallowed thickly, taking a quiet, deep breath as he leaned against the back of his chair. "Okay, I get the whole 'older-brother-protectiveness' thing, but that's like fucking witness protection shit."

"Which I am a proud part of." Gabriel smiles proudly, bowing a bit before starting on the pie.

Dean shook his head in disbelief. "Damn. So, what? Was the plan to just walk in and kick my ass while I was popping her cherry?"

"No," Gabriel says railingly, as if it were obvious. "The plan was if she emitted a sound of distress or called for either of them then you would be extracted from her home. When Charlie, the assassin, gave me the status report, I deemed it safe. I figured she'd had you meet her at her house to work on something. I figured you were one of her students, not that you were high as a kite taking a nap on her couch." Gabriel explains, working on the core of the pie. "That's why Castiel leaves her door unlocked, she knows she's being protected."

Dean whistled lowly, leaning onto his knees and rubbing at his wrists. "Wow, okay then. That's pretty intense."

"You make it sound like I don't let her out of the house. It's not like I've got cameras in every room or anything. I'm just making sure she gets to work and home safely." Gabriel chortles. "It could be much worse. I just don't want her to get hurt." He mumbled, choking up and refraining to add 'again' to the end of his sentence.

Dean wets his lips again, forcing his spit down. "Guess not. Damn."

"So, anything else you need to ask me? Actually, before you do, no I am not an Avenger. Now continue." Gabriel teases, setting the dough over the pie and setting it in the oven before turning it on and gathering up his things.

Dean quirked his lips again, trying to rack his brain for anything. "Guess not, no."

Gabriel nods, stirring the soup again. "You know what? You don't seem too bad. I'm gonna not kill you." he grins, tapping the wooden spoon against the side of the pot before setting it on the counter. "I'll let you stay, hell, I'll let you marry her if she says yes. But just remember there's a twenty-seven year old veteran assassin on your right and a cop on the left. If she gets a damn paper cut I'll know about it, don't go thinking her feelings'll go unnoticed."

Dean nodded, mouth feeling dry again. "I don't like hurting people. I just have a hard time getting close. I might seem like I'm being mean, but... I'm not. I just don't know what to do."

Gabriel gave a soft, reassuring grin at that. "She won't make you angry. She's too sweet for that. But if it was definitely all your fault then I'm having you shipped off." he explains, face falling serious and hard.

Dean smiled, staring down at his hands. "She... she really beats herself up about stuff she can't do, huh?"

Gabriel freezes up for a second. "Yeah... she had some depression issues a while back. I think it's because she felt bad that her step-mom couldn't stand the thought of her being something other than her biological gender." Gabriel chuckles weakly, looking down at his engagement ring. "She also couldn't stand me falling in love with a boy because I was twelve but now I'm marrying him so she can get over it."

Dean smiled happily. "That's great." he sighs. "Yeah, earlier, she... well, she just didn't know how to do something, and I think she felt really bad. Whether she admitted it or not."

"Really? What?" Gabriel asks, an unknown feeling taking over him when he realized his sister was upset over something.

Dean sighed reluctantly. "Honestly? She couldn't figure out how to five me a blowjob. And I think she felt bad."

Gabriel snorts. "They aren't too difficult."

Dean nods, giving a quick smile before letting his face fall flat again. "That's what I told her, even gave her the whole 'don't go too deep, no teeth' spiel. But it didn't seem to help."

Gabriel shook his head, sighing in aggravation. "You've gotta teach her. She can teach herself a lot of things, but she doesn't know the first thing about making another person feel good. She doesn't even know how to make herself feel good, and in a non-sexual way."

Dean nodded. "I can help her. I don't want you to have to worry about her when you're getting married, starting a family...."

Gabriel sighs sadly. "She could be doing the same thing." he mumbles quietly. "I want to let her do that, but something could happen."

Dean nodded, standing and moving toward Gabriel to clap a hand on the smaller mans shoulder. "I get that. That's how I am with my brother. But if you don't let anything ever happen to her, then nothing ever will, y'know?"

Gabriel bites his lip, nodding slowly and snapping out of his thoughts. "What if something really bad happens though?" He asks, gold eyes wide and dark like a curtain covering up a secret.

Dean shrugged it off. "Then it happens. Life goes on, believe me. I got beat up on all the time growing up. I'm still here."

Gabriel sighs, hanging his head. "I'll let her go slowly, as long as you keep an eye on her. Deal?" Gabriel asks, jutting his hand out.

Dean smiles, clasping it and shaking. "I can take good care of her man, I promise."

Gabriel gives a relieved smile. "Thanks." he chokes out. "Soup'll cook for another hour, let it cool for twenty minutes. Pie will be done in thirty. Eat whenever." he explains quickly, grabbing his wallet and keys. "Castiel should be back in time for supper, so you shouldn't have to worry about heating it up for her or anything."

Dean nods, furrowing his brow again. "Do you always come by and make her food?"

Gabriel shook his head. "Nah, she can make simple stuff, like sandwiches. I have a girl come by and do a stock check up once a week when she's at work. You need anything now that you apparently live here?"

Dean sighs, shaking his head. "I mean, I've got my stuff from my ex's house. But that can wait."

"I can send a guy over if you'd like." Gabriel offers in a sing-song voice. "You won't have to talk to your ex or anything."

Dean smiled. "If you could, that'd be great. I'm sure he's already packed all of it up. It' not much, just some clothes, music, toothbrush, and my gun of course."

Gabriel nods. "I'll get the address from your file and have a guy get it and be back by tomorrow." Gabriel sighs, waving Dean off and opening the door. "Ciao loser." he chuckles, shutting the door behind him.

Dean nods at him and waves goodbye before lying back on the couch and sighing. He stares up at the ceiling, one arm around his head and the other resting on his stomach. He thinks over Gabriel's words, stuck on the fact that Castiel had struggled with depression. He swallows, unsure how someone so kind and happy had to be thrown into a whirlwind of emotions that she couldn't control. He sits up, now realizing that with the lack of company he could examine the prescription bottle. He stands, moving toward the kitchen and opening the cupboard above the stove and searching for the pills. He eventually finds the bottle, reading the label carefully:

CASTIEL A. NOVAK

TAKE ONE CAPSULE BY MOUTH EVERY DAY

FLUoxetine HCL 20MG CAPSULE

Generic for : PROZAC 20 MG PUL VULE

NO REFILLS REMAINING

Dean swallows thickly, seeing half the bottle already empty. He puts it back and closes the cupboard slowly, wiping a hand over his face. He heads back toward the couch, sitting and thinking quietly as to what the hell 'FLUoxitine' could be.

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel comes home a little while later. She throws her satchel at the door and smiles when she sees Dean laying on the couch. "So Gabriel didn't kill you?" she chuckles, rubbing at her tired eyes.

Dean smiles and waves her over. "Not at all. He's actually a pretty great guy." he smiles, watching Castiel come closer. He pulls her to sit on his lap, pressing a kiss to her flushing cheeks.

Castiel's blush deepens, red standing out against her tan skin. "So how scared of him are you?"

Dean scoffs good naturedly. "Not at all," he grins. "He's pretty intense, I'll give him that, but I like him. Not as much as you though." he grins, pressing his lips to hers. Dean smiles into the kiss when Castiel wraps her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss shyly. He pulls away after a moment. "You... you know you're safe with me, right? I know you don't know me all that well, but I'm safe. You don't have to be shy or nervous or anything, alright?"

Castiel's face burned as she bit her lip, cursing herself for making her anxiety obvious. "I'm sorry, I can't help it. I'm just... awkward." She breathes out hanging her head.

Dean nods, cupping her cheek to look up at him and dragging his fingers along her back reassuringly. "I get that, I just want you to know that I'm a safe person, ok?"

"And I get that." Castiel smiles adoringly. "I know you're safe, otherwise you'd be in a homeless shelter or dead by the hands of my brother."

Dean grins, lips thinning out as his teeth peeked through. "He's really cool. He's having someone pick up my stuff."

Castiel shifts in Dean's lap, not entirely sure what to do. "He must really like you then." she mumbles happily.

Dean lies back, pulling Castiel with him to be snuggled on his chest. "You think?" he asks, looking down at her. His heart skips a beat when he can see the faint glimmer of the sunset from the window glimmer across her iris and pupil. He swallows, flushing a bit at the silly observation.

Castiel laughs through a thin sigh, taking a deep breath and smelling the peppered, earthy scent of Dean's weed. "Well, he hasn't killed you, right?"

Dean laughed sarcastically, rolling his eyes and shifting so that his arms wrapping around Castiel's waist. "No, obviously."

"Good, it was boring without anyone around." Castiel sighs happily, lifting her head to press a kiss beneath Dean's jaw.

"Oh yeah?" Dean smiles, craning his neck to give her more room. "Oh, your brother made soup and pie. Pecan."

Castiel hummed her appreciation. "I should probably eat it, the assassin next door might tattle-tale on me if I don't." she mumbles against Dean, shifting off of his chest.

"Yeah, he told me about that. That's crazy." he grins, admiring Castiel's figure.

"Not really, she's pretty nice. She bakes terrible cookies and goes to a bunch of conventions. She's also a lesbian, so I don't have to worry about her taking you from me." Castiel teases, shifting off of Dean completely and walking toward the kitchen. "Are you eating or are you 'too high' for that?"

Dean got up, walking a few paces behind her. "I'm not too high for anything." he grins, chuckling lowly when Castiel held back a laugh.

Castiel grabs a large ladle, pouring Dean a bowl and handing it to him before making her own and sitting across from him at the table. She hands him a spoon, watching him blow on his bite and watching the dipped end disappear behind his lips. She swallows, taking her mind from it and blowing on her spoonful.

Dean eats quickly, watching Castiel's plump, pink lips purse whenever she blew to cool off her soup. He swallows, looking around the apartment a bit before watching her again. "You know, you're really pretty." he mumbles, flushing and watching her wide jaw tense and relax as she looking up at him, the tips of her iris covered with her hooded eyes and dark, feathery lashes.

Castiel felt her face start to burn, almost choking on her soup. She swallows awkwardly and looks at Dean with shifty eyes. "If it's any consolation, you're quite handsome yourself." she says shyly, giving a sheepish grin.

"Thanks." Dean grinned, rolling his tongue over his lower lip and pressing them together. "Hey, so, about earlier... when you tried to do that, um, that thing-"

"Perform oral sex?" Castiel interrupts bluntly, cocking her head at the question.

Dean nodded, giving a small cough. "Yeah, that. I don't want you to feel bad okay? I feel like I made you feel bad, and... I don't wanna do that."

Castiel flashed him a weak smile. "You didn't make me feel bad, I did. I don't know how to make you feel like you make me feel and it doesn't seem fair. It's not your fault." she rambles, sentence crippling into a small mumble.

Dean rolled his shoulders, leaning back in his chair. "I can teach you. My first boyfriend taught me how to give a blowjob on a banana." he chuckled. "If you wanna learn, I can teach. But there's plenty of things you can do. We can have regular sex, anal, hand jobs... there's lot's of different things."

Castiel nodded, thinking over the small list given. "I'm willing to experiment. If you think you can teach me then I'm willing to learn."

Dean smiled a bit. "I think I can. There's a lot of kink stuff branching off of all those too, but we won't get into those until you're really comfortable with the basic. Did anything sound interesting? We haven't done anal, or hand jobs.... and oral still needs a major tune up, obviously."

Castiel bit her lip. "Oral sounds interesting, and seems easy once I learn. Anal sounds a bit... painful? I don't think I'd be able to make that discrete if I go to teach a class the next day. I'd be limping all over the place."

Dean grinned at the thought. "It's pretty great if you do enough prep. But I get that. No worries. I can teach you about oral, how to do it and all that." he offers, cocking his head to look down at Castiel.

"I'd be willing to try anal, but it has to be on a weekend, or maybe tomorrow after my shift. That way none of my students will pester me about it."

Dean nods. "It's Tuesday, right? We can try tomorrow night. But what about tonight, anything in particular?"

Castiel blushed. "Perhaps a different position? My back was a bit sore today."

Dean grinned, nodding. "Of course, whatever you want."

Castiel nodded, standing and taking the empty bowls back to the sink. She runs the water, reaching for a sponge only to hear Dean pad behind her.

"Need any help?" he asks, tilting her stance to better see Castiel.

"No." Castiel replies shakily, realized exactly how awkward the entire situation just then. "I-I'll just let them rinse and wash them tomorrow." She mumbled, putting the sponge away quickly.

Dean nods, pressing his lips together and taking a step back. "Alright, so, tonight: new position, no oral?"

"If you'd like to teach me then I won't complain." Castiel grins, trying to relax and not seem like she was having an internal freak-out session as she faced Dean.

Dean's lips thin out as he smiles, eyes giving a reassuring glow like the green around a dead patch of grass as it slowly began to heal. "Nothing you don't wanna do, if you want we could try, I'd be happy to show you."

"I'm your doll." Castiel chuckles, knot in her chest beginning to unravel and thin. "I'd be willing to try whatever you want."

Dean shakes his head, face falling flat and summer lawn eyes turning hard and serious. "No, back up. You're not my doll. You're an amazing girl that I get to have sex with. None of that 'doll' stuff, okay?"

Castiel laughed weakly, not entirely sure what he was trying to explain. "I am too the doll. You've gotta play around with me so I know my limits and boundaries. Otherwise it isn't fun for either of us."

Dean sighs, the thin skin of his eyelids closing before he rubbing at the skin beneath his brow. "Okay, fine. But don't call yourself a doll, that's dehumanizing."

"Alright," Castiel says slowly, trying to think of a different symbol. "Then be a sculptor, I'll be the clay. Mold me and make me your masterpiece."

Dean's smile returned, eyes lighting up and Castiel makes a mental note to study them better eventually. She snaps out of the thoughts as Dean's hands snaked up onto her hips. "See? That's much better."

Castiel gave an embarrassed blush, feeling the blood beneath Dean's palms start to buzz around nervously beneath the skin of her hips. "I'm not sure how clay and toys can differ when relating to the human body, but okay."

Dean shrugged, tilting his head down and pressing small, fluttering kiss beneath Castiel's jaw. "I just like it better." he says simply, taking in a deep breath and smelling the chalked aroma of paint on her.

Castiel stifles a giggle, cheeks reddening as she craned her neck. "Don't tickle me I might give you a black eye."

Dean huffs twice through his nose, sounding a bit like a laugh. "So I can teach you?" he asks, pressing a kiss where her neck sloped into her shoulder.

Castiel shivered a bit at the touch, reaching up and holding Dean's shoulder without a thought. "You don't even have to ask."

Dean grins against her skin, leaning away to look her in the eye again. "Show me how many fingers you can fit in your mouth comfortably. That's the first part." he explains, offering his hand out toward Castiel.

Castiel swallows thickly, feeling the tunnels of her throat clench up. She takes Dean's hand, thumb locking against the hollow of his wrist and she pressed the tips of his fingers against her lips, tasting the faintly salty callouses of his hands. She moves slowly getting three fingers in at first and stopping at the first knuckle. She blushes, realizing she wasn't entirely sure what she was doing, and pulls his hand out, staring down at the kitchen floor and shifting her feet awkwardly.

Dean cups her cheeks, tilting her head up. "Talk to me Cas, what's wrong?"

"I feel like I'm doing it wrong." she mumbles, gaze turned away from Dean and focusing on the counter beside them.

Dean shakes his head, smiling at her. "No, baby, no. Listen, with stuff like this, it's gonna feel awkward sometimes, or unusual. But it's always worth it, I promise, okay?" he explains, kissing her forehead.

Castiel's gaze snapped forward, staring at Dean's Adam's apple for a split second before he leans away. She feels her blush start to dissipate and nods. "Okay."

Dean's grin widens and he offers his hand out again. "Okay, now show me again. How many fingers can you fit in your mouth without hurting yourself?"

Castiel nods, taking his hand again and stretching her lips around Dean's fingers. She gets down to the knuckles, leaving out the thumb and looking up at Dean to show.

Dean smiled and nodded, feeling his mouth start to dampen at the sight. "Good girl, now try relaxing your tongue. It might feel like you're gagging, but just relax and it'll pass."

Castiel's tongue goes limp and she moves down a bit further, stopping after a moment when her throat starts to clench up.

Dean nodded, eyes praising. "Keep it relaxed, and if you think you can handle it, try pushing a bit further."

Castiel's eyes make up for the nod, keeping her teeth clear of Dean's knuckles and moving forward a bit. She chokes up, eyes watering and whines.

Dean grins and gently pushes his fingers in a bit more before pulling them out. "See? You can do it. My first boyfriend taught me to do that. Giving a blowjob is about half the effort."

Castiel nods, giving a small cough and licking her chapped lips. "What else do I have to do?"

Dean thought for a moment. "Sometimes if you just suck the tip, the pink part, that feels really good. Oh, and licking while you suck."

Castiel nods, paling a bit at the last bit of the information. "Anything I should stay away from? Besides using teeth?"

Dean shrugs. "Don't go deeper than you can handle. And don't forget about the balls, too many people forget about them."

Castiel gave a confused look, dark eyebrows furrowing and covering the tops of her hooded eyes. "I'll... try no to forget them." she nods slowly, plump lips pursing at the thought.

Dean chuckles. "Okay, you wanna try?"

Castiel swallowed, then took a deep breath. "Yes, I think I'm willing to try again."

Dean's smile carves into his cheeks as he takes Castiel's hand and leads her back into the bedroom. "Don't psych yourself out, okay? You'll be great."

Castiel stiffened up, trying to stop the small quaking she'd caught herself doing before Dean could notice. She stands awkwardly, grabbing at her forearm and glancing around at the carpet as if each yarn strand were a person trying to tell her different stories at once.

Dean turns back, smile falling when he sees the worried look on her face. "Hey," he says softly,  reaching out to hold her hips protectively. "Don't be nervous." he reassures her with a childish grin, leaning forward to kiss her slightly parted lips.

Castiel leans into the touch, confused internally by how it somehow seemed to be comforting. "Okay, tell me if I'm doing it wrong though."

Dean nods, leaning back to sit on the bed and stretching his neck and back to pepper Castiel's neck. "Don't worry, I'll help you out." he mumbles against her skin, tugging her onto the bed.

Castiel took in deep breaths, hoping to calm herself as she sat on her knees and stiffened her back.

Dean frowns, reachinto up to cup her cheek. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Castiel shook her head. "No, I can do this." she breathes out, reaching up to nudge Dean's hand away from her face. "I've got to try."

Dean smiles, giving a short, huffed out chuckle. "Alright." he sighs, leaning up to kiss her deeply and rubbing a gentle hand from the curve to the small of her back.

Castiel felt her worry crumble away like a reptile in a new skin. She leans away from the kiss, reaching behind her to move Dean's hand to his side again and taking another deep breath for good measure. "Okay, I... I think I'm ready." she chokes out, swallowing to wet her dried mouth. Castiel waits for the 'go-to' nod from Dean and leans over, pulling away at Dean's pants and boxers and freezing up when it was bare. "Do I... do I just suck it?" she gasps out, eyes wide and dilated in fear.

Dean nods, brushing back the small wave on the crown of Castiel's hairline. "Suck and kinda bob your head up and down. That's it."

Castiel nods, sitting so her calves were on either side of her and pressing a kiss to the tip of Dean's cock before taking it into her mouth, rubbing her tongue along the underside and up into the slit before going down a bit slower. She looks up to Dean when it starts to harden and thicken, eyes wide and desperate for a clue as to whether or not she was doing it right or making a fool of herself.

Dean groaned, staring at Castiel's wide eyes. "God, Cas. Just... fuck." he breathes out, throwing his head back and giving a silent moan.

Castiel lowers her gaze, taking more into her mouth and rubbing her tongue along the bottom of the shaft. Her hands snakes up, rubbing at the sensitive under of the base before massaging his balls gently. She looks up again then glances back down, realizing she had her hands full and shouldn't get distracted.

Dean gives hums and moans of pleasure, feeling the throaty rumble from his chest vibrate up through his neck. He puts a gentle hand in Castiel's hair, petting her as if he were praising a child.

Castiel's skin buzzes around, goosebumps rising steadily at the gesture  and she continues down, relaxing her tongue and stopping for a moment before sliding back up at the tip and teasing it a bit while her free hand wrapped around the base and slid up and down to stimulate his senses.

Dean tenses, giving a quiet moan. "F-fuck Cas, you're good... you sure you've never done this?" he grunts out, flashing her a seductive grin before tensing up and groaning again.

Castiel tries to hold back a smile and pops off, rubbing at the base and swirling her tongue around the tip and into the slit again.

"I'm already close, baby. Fuck." Dean pants, shivering harshly at the touch.

Castiel pulls her hands away, shifting back a bit and looking up at Dean with a bashful smile. "Do I... do I need to continue or...?"

Dean shakes his head and pulls her up for a deep kiss as he pumped his own cock. He groans as he comes over his hand and against Castiel's stomach and pants out breaths hotly, giving a quiet, shaky moan.

Castiel smiles, and breaks the kiss with a blush, looking down at her stomach  and looking up at Dean again. "So... it was good?" she asks, cocking her head in the now signature way.

Dean nods, a sated smile on his face as he caught his breath. "Yeah." he chuckles, reaching out and taking her hand. "You were awesome, I didn't teach you all that. Was it just instinct?"

Castiel tenses, rubbing at her arm nervously. "I-I guess so." she stammers, moving to sit next to him. "Thank you."

Dean chuckles, turning to smile at her. "Thank you. That was fantastic."

Castiel gave a shy smile and ducked her head. "You're the one that taught me though. I just did what you said." she mumbles, expression perking up a bit when Dean kissed the top of her head. She blushes, smile stretching. "Oh, and on the bright side you won't have to worry about Gabriel coming tomorrow. He usually spends Wednesday's with his fiance."

Dean smiles, pressing his nose against her jugular beneath her jaw. "Good. Tomorrow we can do something, whenever you're not working. And try anal, too."

Castiel nods. "I do have an early shift tomorrow and a late shift on Thursday. Plenty of time to heal." she teases, jutting him in the ribs. "Unless you're down for it tonight to watch me limp around all day."

Dean smiles, kissing her nose playfully. "I wouldn't mind that. It's up to you baby."

Castiel nodded, thinking for a moment and sorting the pros and cons in her head. "There's some lubricant under the bathroom sink."

Dean's smile stretches and he nudges her to stand. "Go wash up first, gotta make sure we're sanitary." He explains, watching  Castiel when she gave a soft look, seeming to be confused for a brief moment before standing and heading toward the shower. He lies back on the bed, pulling away his shirt and rolling his neck. For a split second he thinks back to the prescription medicine, racking his brain for an idea of what 'FLUoxitine' was. It goes on for a few moments but he snaps out of it when ten minutes later Castiel steps into the room, body flushed red and dripping wet while she ran her fingers nervously around the cap of the lube bottle. "You're the best." he says without a thought, watching her walk toward the bed again.

"Yeah yeah," Castiel chuckles, cheeks bright red as she handed him the bottle. "Now c'mon, before I change my mind."

Dean nods, standing from the bed and watching Castiel crawl on top of it. "Lay on your arms and chest so your ass is up, and relax." he explains, sitting behind her once she was in position and warming the bottle of lube between his legs. He flashes a reassuring smile at her when she cranes her neck to look back at him with wide eyes. He can see through the thin light of the curtain from the window by the bed that her pupils were dilated, barely a sliver of blue showing. He places his hands on the round cheeks of her ass, nosing between and licking softly, tracing the rim with the tip of his tongue. He breathes out a chuckle when Castiel gasps at the touch, rocking her hips back slowly and legs starting to tremble at the light touches. Dean huffs out a small breath and continues, reaching up to rub her clit in time with his licks. "That feel nice?"

Castiel moans at the sensation. "Y-yes." she stutters out, gripping at the sheets desperately.

Dean gives a low, throaty chuckle and lubes up a finger. "Might be cold." he warns, slowly pushing his finger past her rim and inside with one precise, gentle movement. He glances up at Castiel when he sees her bite her lip at the intrusion, gasping in a breath to prepare herself further. He moves his finger cautiously, gently beginning to loosen her up. "Think you can take another one?" He comes to a halt when Castiel chokes out a 'yes' and rocks back her hips, then slipped in a second digit, scissoring them and moving them around to loosen her rim further. He feels her clench down, hips stuttering for friction against his fingers and whistles lowly when he slid in a third. "You really like this, don't you?"

Castiel panted a bit and nodded. "It-it's different, b-but nice." she grunts out, arching her back a bit to fit more of his fingers in. She whines when he pulled his hand away and looks back at his desperately, breath freezing like ice in her lungs when she saw him slick his cock up. He says something and she jerks her attention up, racking her brain to figure out what he'd said until she realized he was asking if she was ready. She nods frantically, holding her breath and gripping the sheets with white knuckles.

Dean takes a deep breath and guides himself in as he slid past the rim slowly, going as deep as he could until her hips were flush with the round of her ass. "Still good?" he grunts out, voice a bit higher than usual. He swallows thickly when Castiel tried to catch her breath and nodded. Dean pulled out slowly, smiling weakly when Castiel whined at the loss. "Here, roll over. You'll be less sore." he pants out, watching her do so and looking up at him with eyes screaming for him to hurry. Dean spreads her cheeks and slid in again, pushing the tip in and out slowly. "How's this?"

Castiel threw her head back and moaned as Dean pushed in a bit at a time. "It's great." she pants, chest rising and falling with a shuddering movement.

Dean grins and pushes in a bit harder, grinning mischievously when Castiel gasped at the sensation. He brings his clean thumb to her clit and rubbed in slow circles. "You really like this, don't you? Like being fucked up the ass?" he asks in a gravelly voice, tone rough and cracking at the sensation. Dean gives a burlesque laugh when Castiel shivered and nodded frantically, too blissed to actually speak. Dean rubs under the hood of her clit, speeding up the tempo of his thrusts. "Feel so good Cas...." he grunts out. "You're so beautiful like this too." he practically forces himself to breathe out. He gives two huffs of a breath, attempting to laugh but sounding more like he needed an inhaler.

Castiel yelps at the speed increase and arches her back to rock her hips toward him, groaning when Dean thrusts back and forth at an erratic pace. "C-Cas, I-I'm close... I'm gonna... I-I" he groans out, feeling Castiel clench around him and taking it as a sign of 'go ahead'. He shivers as he came in her ass, rocking back and forth slowly as it continued for a few short moments.

Castiel cries out, coming and falling limp as Dean pulled out slowly. She attempts at catching her breath then moans when she feels the wet press of Dean's tongue licking the cum dripping onto the mattress.

Dean wipes his mouth and crawls up to hold Castiel, the back of her head pressed to his mouth. "So it was good, huh?" he asks, shifting around to rest his chin atop her head rather then get a mouthful of short, hazel colored hair.

"Amazing." Castiel corrects him through a pant, moving slowly to press her bare back against Dean's chest.

Dean nuzzles her, kissing the top of her head affectionately. "You're probably gonna be sore. I think I went too hard."

Castiel chuckles lazily, eyes beginning to droop. "I don't care if I limp for a month, it was worth it."

Dean smiles, pulling the blankets over the both of them. "Good night, Cas." he mumbles, pressing a kiss to her cheek before lying down again.

"Goodnight Dean." Castiel breathes out, voice barely audible as she quickly fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just really like clueless Cas okay
> 
> ALSO: Thank you thank you thank you for the views. They've grown more than 3x the views from the first chapters original amount and just wow I didn't think it'd be that liked thank you
> 
> -
> 
> Medicine - Daughter


	4. Angel of Small Death and The Codeine Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah happy February! Hopefully you all got lots of valentines and stuff and I figured I'd go ahead and explain the schedule and stuff.
> 
> Cas and Dean meet each other on December 1st (2014 ya its a little slow for reasons) so ya there's that and then you can figure out the rest  
> As for the PUBLISHING schedule: it will have a chapter at the very last day of each month. (If not it means that flowersforfangirls is having a rough time do not hate and gripe okay) so ya there's that oike dokie

Castiel cracks her eyes open the next morning, nearly throwing up then and there when she read the time. She shoves the blankets away, wincing when he felt the pain of the previous night pulse into her lower back. She groans when she sees the mess and limps toward the bathroom for a shower. The water sends chills down her back, leaving a small sting anywhere below the waist. She rinses out as best as she can and dries off stiffly before heading back toward the room and looking for clothes.

Dean wakes up to that, watching Castiel limp around which would have been funny if it weren't for Castiel's fear-stricken pale face. "Hey, can I help?" he croaks out, sitting up and shriveling his nose at the sheets.

Castiel pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. "No, I just overslept and it's kind of useless to go now because it'd be long over by the time I got there," she mumbled, rubbing at her eyes in aggravation and flopping face down onto the bed beside Dean.

Dean sighs, leaning back against the headboard and petting her hair. "Breathe Cas, it's okay. Not the end of the world if you mess up one day."

"I've only had this job for a week," Castiel mumbled into the pillow before turning to face him. "It's not professional to be absent unannounced." She sighs, face glum and red from being smashed into the pillow.

Dean twirls the short curl of her hair between his fingers soothingly. "Just call a little later and explain you slept in. You'll be okay Cas, I promise."

Castiel thought it over for a moment and nodded. "Yeah, okay. I just hate to leave them hanging and all. It was just a couple of high-school kids, and now they're going to be late for their required classes." She mumbled, shifting slowly to lay on her side.

Dean gives a reassuring grin and pulls her up onto his lap to hug her. "They'll live," he reassures her, pressing a kiss to her hairline. After a moment, Dean clears his throat, heart rate picking up when he finally decided to speak up. "So, I-uh-I was thinking about getting a job...." He starts off, voice quiet in case it wasn't an appropriate time to speak of it.

Castiel leaned up off of him and perked her head up. "Really? Like what?"

Dean shrugged, pressing his lips together and looking around awkwardly. "I-I dunno... my uncle knows a guy who owns an auto shop in town. I'm pretty good with machines so...."

Castiel grinned, pressing a kiss to his lips to calm him down. "You should go for it," she chuckles, resting her hands on Dean's shoulders. "That is if you're serious about it. It might mess with your blunt schedule or whatever."

Dean gives a relieved sigh. "Yeah, I mean... I just want to be able to help out. I've never  had a real job, and I don't want to mooch off of you, so...." He trails off, staring away at the foot of the bed.

Castiel nods. "It sounds awesome, but you don't have to do it if you don't  want to. Gabriel pays for the apartment, and I pay for groceries, clothes, and other things when he lets me. But if there was a kid then, yeah, a job might be necessary."

Dean tensed slightly at the mention of a baby. "But... that's not happening now. Right?" he squeaks out, looking a bit pale.

"No way," Castiel reassures him, resting her forehead on Dean's shoulder. "I'm waiting till I'm at least twenty before I even think about getting married. So don't go knocking me up."

Dean relaxes and chuckled. "Good, I was about to say it'd be way too early if I've only lived here, what, two days now?"

Castiel nods. "That's about right. So, you want the job?"

Dean shrugs again with a sigh. "Kind of. Might be nice to get up and do something, y'know. Have a purpose or whatever."

"You always had a purpose, but it's good to see you interested in something new." Castiel mumbles happily, leaning up to peck Dean's cheek and sitting up off of him. "We should probably get you some nicer clothes though. Some that don't smell like weed so you can set a good impression and everything."

Dean gives a sarcastic laugh and rolls his eyes. "Okay, but I can't afford new clothes. So that's not going to work out."

"You can't, but I can." Castiel hums out in a sing-song voice. "C'mon, Gabriel never lets me pay for anything except food. We can get you some nice clothes and then do something else. I can see about Gabriel getting you for an interview if you'd like?"

Dean grins through a sigh. "You're  great, you know that?"

"I'm not great," Castiel mumbled with a blush. "C'mon, get dressed. We can have breakfast at the Plaza."

Dean gets out of bed, heading for the living room to fish out clothes from his back-pack only to notice a paper grocery sack taped shut with his name scrawled out in sharpie. "I think your brother 'retrieved' my stuff," he chuckles, pulling the sides away and rifling through it to check for everything.

Castiel chuckles, buttoning up a purple petticoat when she walked from the bedroom. "I'll be shocked if he  put the gun in there."

Dean continued to dig through the bag and laughed, pulling out an FNS-40 black handgun. "He did, isn't she pretty?"

"He must like you then if he trusts you with a firearm and his precious baby sister.” Castiel chuckles, walking forward a bit more while Dean pulled out clean boxers, a pair of jeans and an old Henley t-shirt before stripping down and changing. She steals a glance then heads over toward the kitchen to grab her wallet and cell. "You good?"

Dean steps into the kitchen with her, pulling on his old combat boots and standing by the door for her. "I guess so," he sighs, pulling the door open for Castiel nervously.

"Great." Castiel grins, leading him out before gasping when a short, brunette woman was just about to knock.

"Good god I thought you were dead," she huffs, glancing over her to check on her. "What happened, and who's the guy?"

"Jody, calm down. I overslept, and this is Dean. We'll be out today, and I'll call my work and explain everything. Sorry to scare you." Castiel apologizes awkwardly leaning into Dean before Jody turned on her heel and headed back toward her apartment. "That was Jody." Castiel chuckles, looking back up at Dean. "She's the cop next door, let's hope you don't have to meet and face the wrath of Charlie."

Dean laughs, following her out of the apartment. "Reminds me of my Aunt Ellen, in a good way though. So don't worry."

Castiel nods, leading him toward an elevator and stepping in when it came to the floor.

Dean leant against the wall, wrapping his arms around Cas' waist. "I like you, Cas," he mumbled against her neck.

Castiel ducked her head, cheeks burning when she pursed her lips into a smile. "I like you too," she says quietly, leaning into his touch. She gives a hushed gasp when he starts to kiss and nip softly at her neck, only to stop when he heard someone give an irritated cough to break it up.

"Who's this Cassie?" a woman asks protectively. Her hair cut short and red, the longest strand about as low as her earlobe and shaved short on the other side. Scars litter her arms and face, not like claw marks but more like shrapnel that flew at her from something. There's a thin line over the eye below the bangs and Dean swallows when he realizes that it's blind.

Castiel leant back into Dean, chest aching with fear. "Charlie, this is Dean. He came in the other night, and he's been staying with me." Castiel says quickly, breath tight as she spoke. When there isn't a word from her, she closes her eyes gently and breathes out. "Please don't kill him."

Charlie chuckled, crossing her arms. "I'm not gonna kill him, don't worry," she grins slyly, arching her brow at Dean and scoping him out.

Castiel let out a breath and slumped back into Dean, relieved. "Thank God, so why are you spying on us?"

Charlie rolled her eyes and chuckled lowly. "Getting into the same elevator doesn't count as spying."

"It does when you didn't get on when we did, and the elevator having not stopped," Castiel replies bluntly.

Charlie shrugs, quirking her lips. "Alright, so I came through the emergency hatch because I got a visual of you coming in. No biggie." Charlie grins, waving them off and stepping out of the elevator when it came to a halt and the doors opened up to reveal the lobby.

Dean laughs, pressing a kiss to Castiel's neck. "That was awkward," he mumbles, nipping at the sensitive skin.

Castiel nodded, pressing back into Dean again. "I almost threw up when I saw her. I thought she came to slit your throat or something."

Dean smiles and presses a kiss to the bend of her jaw. "You ready to go?" he asks, taking her hand and tugging her forward a bit.

"Yeah, let's just hope we don't see anyone else who might want to kill you." she sighs, gripping his hand and taking the lead out of the complex and into the chilly streets.

Dean grins, sniffling at the cold and tugging the flaps of his leather jacket close to his chest. "How're we getting there? Bus?"

"Well, unless you planned on walking three blocks in eighteen-degree weather, then yes. We're taking the bus."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Geez, sorry I asked smart-ass."

"You'll get used to it." Castiel shrugs, leaning against him and taking in a shaky breath. "Hey, this is your first time outside in a couple of days, isn't it?"

Dean nods, shoving his hand into his pocket and leaning close to Cas. "God it's freezing," he grumbles, feeling his nose start to run as he trembled from the cold.

"Well, it's winter. And it's Ohio. I'm not sure what you were expecting." Castiel shrugs, brushing her thumb across his frost-bitten knuckles. "Maybe we can get you a new coat while we're out.

Dean whines. "It'll be expensive. Besides, this coat is sentimental."

Castiel laughs quietly, fogged breath pouring from her lips. "I didn't say you had to get rid of the jacket. Just wear something a bit warmer. Sentimental isn't the same as heavy duty, y'know." she explains, examining the faded leather.

Dean sighs, glancing up ahead at the bus stop a few feet away. "You could get something for yourself. Maybe more guy clothes?" he blushes slightly when she gave him a questioning look. "I noticed you only had one pair of men's jeans and a few shirts."

Castiel nods, contemplating the idea. "I don't  dress like a guy very often though. I mean, there are days where I feel like a man so I get into the whole get-up, but it isn't like an every other day thing," she explains, swinging their hands a short distance forward and back. "Plus, I could get something sexy. I'll have to decide when I get there."

Dean wiggles his eyebrows, leaning into her purposefully. "Sexy's always fun. The last I checked there is a sex shop in the mall."

"You'd have to show me around the stuff though. I won't know what to look for or what's best," she chuckles, chilled cheeks turning a fierce red while they waited for the bus.

Dean grins, kissing her burning cheek. "I can do that," he sighs, unclasping their hands and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Fine. We'll choose a nice coat and some clothes and then you can find something nice for me to wear." Castiel sighed, gazing over at the bus when it stopped in front of them. She follows after Dean, grinning when he pulls the bus card from his wallet, scanning it and sitting down and wrapping his arms around her protectively. Castiel snuggles up against him, wriggling in his arms to warm up. "You okay? You seem a bit tense."

Dean shrugs. "'M just not used to being out and about yet I guess," he mumbles close to her ear, pressing the bridge of his nose against Castiel's neck.

"It'll be okay," Castiel reassures him, taking his hand into hers and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Dean chuckles lightly, pressing a kiss to her hair. "Yeah, I know," he mumbles against the short curl of her hair. He holds her close again, watching in sync out the window with her until they reached their stop in a few minutes. Dean hops off the last step, taking Castiel's hand and leading her off while he trudged toward one of the doors. "So, lemme tell you a secret: I've never actually been shopping."

"Aw...." Castiel coos. "That's cute, but it's gotta be scary. It's just a small space filled with angry customers and whiny rich kids," she sighs, standing close to him and rubbing her warming cheeks against his shoulder.

Dean groans, thankful for his wind-chilled cheeks to help hide his embarrassment. "Okay, so how do we do this?"

"We just go inside." Castiel shrugs. "When you see a shop with some clothes you like then we go in and find some. If they fit right then you check out and leave."

Dean rolls his eyes. "No, I get that part. But, how do we know where to go?"

"Well, there are these big signs in the hallways with maps. But otherwise we just kind of walk around and look for something in a few shops." Castiel explains, unsure. "I don't shop that much, but this is just basic stuff. How do you not know this?"

Dean chuckles and shakes his head. "Everything I've ever owned has been hand-me-down or from a thrift store. So, no, I don't  have first-class experience."

"Well then today we can get you some nice clothes and hopefully some okay memories." Castiel sighs, tugging the door open and leading him inside.

Dean followed and grimaced at the different cliques of teenagers. "God I hate kids. Even when I was a kid I hated kids," he grumbles, sticking beside Castiel and looking around nervously.

"Oh, come on Daria, pick up your mood." Castiel teases, weaving their way through the crowds.

Dean sighs, following after her and getting a few curious looks from women until they stopped in front of a men's work clothing store. "This stuff looks like stuff I already wear," he mumbled, scuffing the heel of his boot against the tile while he gazed at the work boots and jeans lining the shelves.

"Good, it'll be easy to find stuff in here if it's all the same theme." Castiel nods, pulling him inside and looking around. They wander around aimlessly until Castiel stops at a section with jeans, shuffling through and glancing at the sizes before handing Dean a few.

 

"They'll fit?" he asks, checking the tags and trying to distinguish the meanings behind 'boot cut' and 'wide cut' for the cuffs.

"I dunno." Castiel shrugs, making an odd face. "Depends on your pant size. Here, turn around," she instructs him, flipping the hem of his jeans inside out to read the tag. "The tags are too faded to make out. How old are these pants anyway?" she asks, readjusting the slightly baggy waistband.

Dean shrugs. "Got 'em secondhand from my friend Ash when I was about sixteen. But God only knows how long he wore these. So probably about eight, nine years?"

"Dear God." Castiel gapes. "Let's... just try mediums for now. That'll be an easy way to start," she mumbled, handing him a few extra pairs.

Dean takes them willingly, paling a bit in worry of it being too expensive. "What else do I need? Shirts?"

Castiel nods, wandering across the shop and looking around. "I'd say you're a medium. Maybe a small large?" she guesses, upper lip curling in doubt. "I'll look around at some other stuff. "You go try the pants on," she instructs, waving him toward a dressing room.

Dean nods, heading over toward the small desk and nervously telling the woman how many articles of clothing he had before dressing in a room. He comes back a few moments later, carrying the large stack of jeans. "They fit."

"Good, go try on this shirt so I can figure out your size." Castiel grins, taking the stack and handing him a simple, faded green tee. "That's a large; I couldn't tell what would fit or not."

Dean nods and glances around at the practically empty store. When he makes sure no one's near them he slips out of his jacket and strips his shirt off before tugging on the new one. "Large fits."

Castiel holds back a snort, pulling some different colored larges from the shelf. "Okay, now get your shirt back on. Someone'll see."

Dean stuck his tongue out and quickly changed back. "So, I've got a question," he says, looking around at the shirts. "What's the difference between a 'Henley' and a 'baseball shirt'?" he asks, looking around and pointing at the different advertisement signs. "They look the same to me."

"I think it has something to do with the collar." Castiel shrugs, grabbing another shirt. "I'm not a men's wear specialist; maybe we could ask a worker or something."

Dean follows her around, carrying the short stack of shirts. "Is this all I need?"

"We've still gotta find you a coat," she sighs, looking at a clearance shelf. "How's this?" she asks, pulling out a forest green, canvas jacket and holding it up for him to see.

Dean shrugs and nods with a sigh. "Matches my eyes," he teases. "Looks fine, let's just do that."

"Good, then we have a choice of eating breakfast here or going to the other shop and heading home for food," Castiel explains, checking her watch before grabbing all of the clothes and setting them on the checkout counter.

Dean shakes his head. "We could just go to the shop and then home. I'm quite the cook, believe it or not. Plus your brother bought groceries yesterday, so it's not like we don't have food."

"Seems easy enough, Where's the shop?" she asks, paying the cashier and taking the bag filled with Dean's clothes before taking his hand again.

Dean smirks and squeezes her hand. "It's just down the hall last I checked. Maybe we can test them after we eat when we get home."

Castiel blushes a bit. "So, what exactly are we supposed to be looking for in there?"

Dean grins, leaning in to keep his voice down. "Handcuffs, dildos, plugs, lingerie, whatever your little heart desires."

Castiel paled, holding onto his hand tightly. "I only know what two of those things are," she squeaks out.

Dean laughs. "I guess you know what lingerie and handcuffs are. A dildo is  a fake penis; they're fun on occasion. Plugs can go in your ass or vagina; sometimes they vibrate. They're just for kinky stuff."

Castiel gave a hungry grin, leaning into him. "They sound great; I assume you can decipher which are best?"

Dean nods, tugging her around the corner and into the large store. A lady greets them, making it known there was a sale on certain items and then waves them off. "Based off of your reaction last night, a plug might be nice. And we could get you a vibrator for when you're home alone. Y'know, if I take the job and all."

Castiel tenses up, breath hitching as she stayed as close to Dean as possible. "But it won't be you," she pouts.

Dean frowns and kisses her cheek gently. "Hey, hey. It was just an idea, alright? Don't worry, I'm not going to make you get anything."

"No no, it's a great idea!" Castiel reassures him. "It just won't be you. It won't feel like you, that's all."

Dean shrugs, looking around at the different shelves. "If you see anything interesting, even if you have no idea what it is, point it out, okay?" he sighs, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb while they wandered around. He glances over at Castiel and holds back a chuckle at her wide, unfocused eyes.

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be looking at." she mumbled shyly.

"Well, what did you like that I mentioned before?" he asks, weaving through the racks of different lingerie.

"I believe you called a dil-do?" Castiel asks, pronouncing it cautiously. "Or were you referring to the lingerie?"

Dean chuckles. "Dildo? Yeah, we can look at those," he nods, leading her toward a few shelves with the matching label.

Castiel kept quiet, following him around the section. "What's the difference? They're all just fake penises."

"Some vibrate, some don't. They're made out of different materials; they're different sizes...." Dean explains, glancing around the selection.

"If I get one it has to be smaller than you, otherwise we may never have sex again."

"Gotcha." Dean nods. "So, I'm not  long. But I'm pretty thick I guess. So something longer and thinner?" he asks, reaching up and taking one from the shelf. "How's this look?"

"Smaller than you, so I'd say it'd work." Castiel agrees, looking around shyly again.

"You don't have to be so nervous." Dean mumbled, keeping close to her so she wouldn't be embarrassed. "It's all for fun, okay? Nothing to be afraid of."

"I know, I'm just... awkward." Castiel breathes out shakily. "How about we look at something more casual to buy? You know, more casual than a fake dick?"

Dean gives a breathy laugh. "Okay, okay. I'm still going to hang onto it, so that we have options. But let's keep looking around, all right?"

Castiel nods, shifting away from the section and wandering aimlessly. "So what's something I can do to make you feel good? Or use, maybe say?"

Dean grins. "The 'doing' and 'saying' parts are gonna be different from the stuff we can get in here. As far as this place goes, plugs are nice. I had one once, and god that was incredible. They usually come in sets so you could get one and so could I."

"How romantic." Castiel teases. "I'd be willing to try it out, along with whatever you throw at me."

Dean laughs and grabs a box of inexpensive plugs. "I think that's all unless you wanted to look at anything else?"

Castiel shrugged. "Maybe some lingerie. I don't  own anything more than bras and underwear."

Dean grins, pressing his lips together in excitement as he led her toward the back where it was kept. "Okay, I like the idea of you in white. White lace, sounds nice," he explains, looking around a bit before pulling down a short slip. "What do you think?"

Castiel eyes the fabric, noticing the breast areas had a thin amount of material. "It's nice," she nods, searching for it with her cup size. "So, what else is there to lingerie?"

Dean shrugs with a smile. "I dunno. Hey, question... do you own any knee socks? I kind of have a thing for them." he trails off, blushing slightly.

"No, what's interesting about the socks?" Castiel asks, cocking her head and giving him a questioning glance.

Dean blushed brighter and rubbed his arm nervously. "I dunno knee socks, and thigh highs always have just kinda... turned me on, I guess. I dunno. Never mind." he finishes with a mumble, face a dark red.

"No, we can get the socks," Castiel reassures him. "Just don't leave me for the socks."

Dean laughs. "I won't, believe me. If you wear these socks, I'll stay with you forever."

"These socks are incredibly powerful." she mumbles, looking for a pair of white ones to match the slip.

Dean laughs, bringing everything up and letting Castiel pay and heading back toward the bus stop. He wraps his arms around Castiel and pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "You're awesome. Thank you for the clothes."

Castiel grins, craning her neck to peck his cheek. "I'm not done giving you stuff. I still have to wear the slip," she sighs happily, keeping her voice bare minimum to keep from getting odd looks from the other passengers.

"Still," Dean mumbles happily, trying to force dirty thoughts to the back of his mind. "Thank you, Cas, it means a lot to me. I mean it, thank you."

 

* * *

 

 

The apartment door swings open and Castiel shuffles in quickly, cheeks red from the cold. She sets the bags on the counter, rubbing her face to warm up before pressing up against Dean. "You're  warm," she mumbled, voice sounding different due to being smashed up against Dean's chest.

Dean's chest rumbles with a small laugh. He wraps his arms around her, pressing his nose and chin against her short hair. "Yeah, well, you smell nice, so it's a win-win."

"I do not smell nice." Castiel deadpans, adjusting her pose by standing on the balls of her feet to wrap her arms around Dean's neck. "I smell like cheap shampoo," she mumbled, taking a deep breath and rolling back onto her heels. "So, now there's only one thing left to decide: food or sex?"

Dean shrugs, looking down at Castiel. "You decide, I wanna keep smelling you." he grins, holding her up a bit and stumbling to sit on the couch. He pulls Castiel onto his lap, arms tight around her hips as he kissed her temple and nosed into her neck.

"You can smell me while I wear those socks you get hot and bothered about."

Dean growls playfully, sensing the confusion from Castiel in reaction to the noise. "Sounds perfect," he mumbles, nipping at her neck and collar. "So, what'll it be? Sex or food?"

Castiel's breath hitches at the gentle bite. "Sex," she groans, shifting off of his lap. "I'll put the stuff on, you just sit back and relax," she grins, turning and stripping off her petticoat as she moved toward the bedroom. Dean's left behind on the couch, slumping against the back of it and removing the ratty leather jacket and heavy boots. Castiel returns back into the living room a moment later, readjusting the hem of the sock and trying to cover her bottom with the low slip. She keeps her head ducked down, blushing from embarrassment rather than being chilled like before.

Dean's eyes widen at the sight, and he swallows, glancing over at how the white slip fit her perfectly, the hem was hanging loosely and leaving her ass to stick out. His gaze moves upwards, and he feels his Adam's apple bob at the site of the white lace cups of the bra. He glances back down at the socks, swallowing heavily again and shifting on the couch. "W-Wow, oh my god, Cas. You... you look fucking amazing," he blurts, nearly tripping over his words. "Come here," he beckons, gesturing her forward. He wets his lips at the sight of relief shining over Castiel's features, from the indescribable blue of her eyes to her broad jaw relaxing at the phrase. She moves forward, shifting on her feet before slowly moving to stand in front of Dean. Dean takes her hand and tugs her onto his lap, running his hands from her mind back over the curve of her back and ass. "God, Cas...."

Castiel builds up courage, wrapping her arms around Dean's neck and rolling her hips against his lap. "I take it I look pleasing?"

Dean squirms and nods, slipping his hand between her legs and groaning when fabric doesn't stop him. He caresses Castiel's labia, realizing his subconscious was yelling at him to breathe and calm down. "Fuck, yes, you do."

Castiel gasps at the touch, rocking her hips against him again with a sly grin. It falters when Dean smiles and brings his thumb up to gently rub her clit. She starts to pant as he presses damp and random kisses across her chest and collar bone, body beginning to blush in arousal. She begins to whine and pant at the small touches, pushing back against Dean's finger and lap.

The corner of Dean's lip hitches at Castiel small noises and brings his fingers to his lips, sucking away the wetness before bringing them back to slide inside with ease.

Castiel groans, resting her head against Dean's shoulder and rocking against his hand. "Dean...."

Dean grins lustfully, curling his fingers slowly and earning a aroused squirm from Castiel. "Yeah baby?" he asks innocently, eyes starting to darken at the sight of Castiel.

Castiel whines, biting her lips red and rocking back desperately. "Please, please fuck me, please...."

Dean grins and nods, slipping his fingers away and earning a displeased grunt from Castiel. He barely has time to strip before Castiel's hands fumble to push up the hem of his shirt and pull it off. "You wanna ride me, baby?" he asks hoarsely, watching as she slips off of his lap to pull away his jeans and boxers.

Castiel's face falls flat as she tries to make sense of the phrase, eventually recalling the differences of positions and nodding. "Please?" she begs sweetly, pressing a kiss to Dean's growing erection. She looks up at Dean's smile and cautiously moves with his guiding hands as he pulled her back onto his lap, lifting her onto his cock and groaning as she slowly started to rock her hips, bouncing eagerly but keeping it slow to get used to the feeling. She presses her hands on his chest, grunting when he rambled out an aroused string of words that seemed to be praising her. She moves her hips quickly, resting on Dean's lap and grinding a bit before bouncing again.

Dean groans, reaching up and out to cup Castiel's breast, pinching a bit through the lace and reaching down to rub her clit again with his free hand. "Good girl. Fuck, Cas, feel so good," he blurts, heat starting to boil in his lower stomach and hips.

"As do-ngh-you," Castiel grunts, hips starting to ache at the quick movements. She begins to pant and whine again when Dean rubs her clit harder, eventually gripping her hips and thrusting up into her.

Chills of pleasure run down Dean's spine as Castiel bounced. "F-fuck, Cas... I-I'm close...." he warns, winded at the few words he managed to make out.

Castiel slows, moving her hips in cautious circles while she caught her breath. "Do you want me to keep going?"

Dean nods frantically. "I-if I come before you do, I'll make it up to you. Promise."

Castiel bounces slowly, giving stuttered breaths as she got used to the feeling again. "It's fine, you don't have to make it even," she grunts out, chest rising and falling steadily as she sped up her movements.

Dean gave a choked out moan, gripping her hips tighter. "I-I do... fuck, Cas, I-I...."

Castiel pants and groans, gripping Dean's shoulders and just focused on moving her hips up and down as quickly as possible. "It-it's fine, please, please Dean," she rambles, eventually going still and pressing her hips to Dean's lap as he came with her name seared on his tongue. Castiel hangs her head, panting to catch her breath while she slipped off of Dean's cock and slumped against his chest.

Dean's face burns. "I-I'm sorry; you didn't even get to come."

"Doesn't matter," Castiel mumbled breathlessly, shaking her head. "It still felt great, as always."

Dean shakes his head, nudging her to lay back on the couch. "No, I'm being selfish. I didn't let you finish," he explains, settling between her thighs.

Castiel leant back onto her forearms, looking down at Dean. "You don't have to do this, it still felt amazing. I don't need to come to prove that to you, do I?"

Dean noses softly at her. "I'm being rude if I don't give you what you need. Right now, you need an orgasm. So, I'll give you one." he sighs, flicking his tongue over her clit.

Castiel groans when the brief touch ceases. "Fine," she huffs, shifting her hips toward him.

Dean grinned and went at it, flicking his tongue quickly up and down her clit, dragging his fingers along her inner thighs. He presses closer when Castiel moans, arching her back at the touch. Dean works the tip of his tongue under the hood of her clit, massaging it slowly before sucking gingerly.

Castiel whined, almost sobbed in pleasure, tensing up and choking out brokenly. "Dean, Dean I'm gonna-" she huffs, giving a small cry and seizing up as she came, laying flat against the cushions of the couch and trying to catch her breath.

Dean grins and licks her down from her high, smiling lazily up at her when he was done. "Good?" he asks, mentally noticing it was nearly a routine to ask.

"Amazing." Castiel gasps out, sitting up slowly to wrap her arms around his neck again. "You're incredible."

Dean grins and pulls her onto his lap, pressing up against her. "You are, too. Pretty damn amazing."

"Yeah, yeah." Castiel mumbles. "Now you need to make food or I might collapse."

Dean grumbles and nuzzles into her hair. "In a minute, you're too nice to let go of right now."

"Mm, at least you got to eat something." Castiel mumbled lazily, curling up against his chest.

Dean chuckles and kisses the top of her head. "Damn right I did," he sighs, shifting out from beneath her and laying her on the couch, tugging the afghan off the back of the sofa and tucking it around her. "Don't get up, I'll make food."

Castiel groans, too tired to argue. "Just wake me up when edible food is present," she sighs, curling up in the corner of the couch and drifting off.

Dean grins and presses a kiss to her temple, readjusting the afghan to cover her shoulder, and then moving toward the kitchen to make a late lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angel of Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier


	5. I Want to Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey heY HEY guess who's updating on time! That's right! Us!! Shocking!!!!
> 
> This chapter is kinda short so I'm sorry about that but the next one should be the usual 4,000+ word update woo

Dean spends his time cooking as slowly as possible, ensuring that Castiel would have enough time to sleep by keeping the stove on low and slowly cutting the chicken and vegetables slowly before finally turning the stove up and stir-frying it all. He glances over at Castiel, smiling when she mumbled something and shifted in her sleep. He eventually sets the small dinner table with dinner and two glasses of water before finally heading back into the living room and nudging her slightly. "Dinner's ready." he sighs, watching as she grunted and shifted out of the covers and glanced down at the slip she still wore.

"Let me dress in something really quick." she mumbles, heading to the bedroom and coming out later in some sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"You won't be eating in your slip?" Dean teases, sitting down at the table across from her.

"I don't want to dirty it up." Castiel yawns, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I could always just wear the shirt without the sweats."

Dean shook his head with a smirk, taking a bite of his food. "Nah, I'm fine, eat."

Castiel nods, stabbing at her plate lazily and chewing slowly to savor the food. "Dear god, this is amazing."

"Yeah, I know. I'm pretty good." Dean nods, stabbing at a piece of chicken and shoveling it into his mouth.

"This is almost as good as sex." Castiel mumbles around her food, taking another bite and chewing quickly. "Where'd you learn to cook like this?"

Dean shrugged with a small smile. "Made stuff for my little brother, watched my Aunt Ellen, I just picked stuff up."

"Good god she better get into heaven because this is  _amazing_." Castiel hums, swallowing her mouthful and taking another bite.

"Believe me, she's getting into heaven, with or without the food."

"She must be a good person." Castiel smiles, taking one of her few remaining bites.

Dean nodded slowly, pressing his lips together in thought. "She's the best."

"Is she near? Perhaps we could visit." Castiel offers cautiously, pushing away her plate.

"Nah, she's back in Kansas. Thanks, though." Dean sighs, a small smile on his face.

"We'll have to plan a trip then." Castiel sighs, gathering the dirty dishes and stacking them. "Perhaps for Christmas or something."

Dean laughed, putting his hand up to push away the thought. "It's fine, really. No big deal."

"You must be dying to see her soon. It'd be good for you to see your family, staying away isn't healthy." She reassures him, taking the dishes to the sink.

Dean quirked his lips into an awkward smile and followed her to the sink. "I mean, yeah, but you don't have to worry about that."

"It's not worrying or stressful, it's exciting if anything." Castiel reassures him, running the sink and rinsing the plates.

Dean nods with a sigh, shutting off the water and taking her hands into his. "Don't worry about those, I'll do them later, okay? Promise."

Castiel rolled her eyes, grabbing a hand towel and drying off her fingers. "Fine, what are you suggesting I'm supposed to do?"

Dean smirked and kissed her forehead. "Doesn't matter."

"I could try the dildo." Castiel mumbled with a shrug.

"Yes," Dean chuckles. "You could try the dildo."

"Alright, I'll try it." She sighs, moving past him and heading toward the bedroom.

Dean turned on his heel and followed her with a smug grin on his face. "Would you like any tips? Or may I just watch?"

"You can watch, if you can make the experience better then feel free to throw in a tip." she sighs, rifling through the plastic bag and pulling out the rubber prop and tossing it on the bed before beginning to undress.

Dean snorts at her. "You do know that you can't just go for it, right? It'll hurt if you just try to jam it in."

Castiel stiffened, a heavy blush settling on her cheeks. "Okay... so I may require a small tutorial."

Dean gave a huffed out laugh and shifted to sit on the bed. "You have to be really aroused first. Plus, you have to use lube since it's made of rubber, not skin."

Castiel nodded intently, looking at Dean as if she were absorbing every word he spoke. "So, do I just touch myself?" She asks, picking up the lube from the night before.

Dean nods. "Pretty much. Or I can touch you, if you'd like. It's up to you."

"I'd prefer you, you're more experienced in this field." Castiel mumbled, shifting on her feet nervously as Dean took her hands and gently tugged her down to sit next to him on the edge of the bed. 

"Just relax." he reassures her, cupping her cheek and cautiously pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

Castiel forced herself to calm down, focusing on the kiss rather than the anxiety shifting uneasily in her gut. She clenches her jaw when Dean puts a hand on her waist, rubbing it soothingly, knowing it must have been obvious and aggravating that she was stiff and tense rather than willing like she had been the past two days. She takes a shaky breath, gripping Dean's knee to keep steady and forcing herself to calm down again.

Dean pulled away and brushed her hair from her face. "Cas, what's wrong?"

"I'm just nervous, it's fine. It'll pass." She blurts out squeakily.

Dean frowned, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Are you sure? If you don't feel comfortable then I won't do anything."

Castiel shook her head, coughing to readjust her voice. "I'm fine, it just seems... I can't explain it, I'm sorry." She mumbles, hanging her head.

Dean's features tensed worryingly, cupping her jaw for her to look at him. "Cas, it's okay. Whatever you don't feel okay with... it's okay. I don't just stick around for sex, okay? I actually care about how you feel."

Castiel swallows thickly, wrapping her arms around Dean's neck and pressing close to his chest. "Thank you, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." Dean sighs, lacing his arms around her back and kissing her cheek. "Of course, I really adore you Cas." he admitted softly, rubbing her back gently.

Castiel let out a shaky breath and clang to Dean, hearing the dildo hit the floor as Dean pulled Castiel up further on the bed and pulling the blanket over the both of them. "You don't have to do that, you know." she mumbled bashfully.

"Do what?"

"You don't have to stick around or cook for me, or take care of me, or adore me." She mumbled, curling her head for fear of his reaction.

Dean rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to her hairline. "I know I don't I just do. You're sweet, smart, adorable... and god, the sex is great."

Castiel gives a weak laugh, pressing her heated cheeks against his chest. "You're a dork."

"I know." Dean sighs, holding her to his chest tightly.

"I love you." Castiel mumbles.

Dean tensed up, glancing down at Castiel. "I... um... you do?" he asked quietly.

"I believe so." Castiel nods. "The emotion I can best relate it to is love."

Dean leaned away to look at her. "You do know you've only known me for three days, right?" he asks, watching Castiel furrow her brow in worry. "But don't worry, I kinda love you too." he smiles, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Castiel gave a small smile, pushing her short hair back. "Good, I'm going to take a shower, you can do whatever." she sighs, shifting out of the covers and off of the bed.

Dean watched her as she started to walk away, a stupid grin plastered on his face. "Does this make me your boyfriend?" he called after her.

Castiel froze in place, turning to face him. "Would you be offended if I used that title?"

Dean shook his head. "Not one bit."

Castiel gave a relieved smile and moved back to hug him. "You're amazing."

Dean laughed. "I feel the same about you, especially since your boobs are in my face."

Castiel chuckled, hugging him a bit tighter before letting go and pressing a kiss to his lips. "Alright, I'm better. Let's try the dildo."

"Go get it off the floor and let me touch you, okay?" Dean sighs, smiling up at her, watching her pick it up and hand it to him before she shifted to lay on the bed. He smiles and leaned over her. pressing kisses to her lips, his hands gently stroking up and down her hips and waist. Smiling and pressing kisses down her neck as she started to relax. He continues to press small, affectionate kisses to her collar and finally began to reach down and rub at her clit. He holds back a small laugh when she gave a tiny gasp, having to hold her hips down to keep her from rocking against him. "That feel better?" he asks softly, nosing up at her jaw and nipping below her ear.

" _Yes_." Castiel gasps out, grabbing at the sheets as she tried to grind against Dean's finger. She groaned as Dean gave a sly grin, bringer his hand to his lips and licking the middle fingers before bringing it back to the opening, teasing her with just the tip. She groans, trying to shift further down on his finger and whining. "Dean...  _please_...."

Dean's grin widened and he pushed the rest of his finger in. "You wanna save the dildo for later? Just get off like this for now?" he asks, stroking her clit with his thumb and groaning at how wet she was.

Castiel shook her head. "Fuck it, I need  _you_...."

Dean nods and slips his hand away, removing his tented boxers and coaxing her legs further apart. "You sure?"

" _Please_." Castiel grit out desperately.

Dean nods, sliding in slowly and making sure not to push in too quickly. He leaned over her as he bottomed out, hands tugging on her short hair as he slowly rocked his hips back and forth.

Castiel threw her head back with a moan, wrapping her arms around his neck and hitching her legs around his waist.

Dean tilted his hips so that they rubbed against her clit as he thrusted, groaning as his pace started to speed up. "God, Cas... I-I love you...." he murmured, shivers of arousal raking through his body.

"I love you t-too." Castiel gasps out, biting her lips red and bringing his head down to kiss. "I-I'm close." She whines, panting breathily and rocking her hips out of rhythm with his.

Dean nods, rocking his hips at an erratic pace. "Let it go baby, c'mon, you're good. I got you." he reassures her, smoothing his palms through her short waves and pressing kisses to her cheeks, groaning as Castiel tightened around him and finally came with a choked out moan. Dean slowed slightly as she came, only to pull out and breathlessly come across her stomach, practically sobbing a string of garbled profanities.

Castiel panted for her breath, leaning up on her arms to check the mess. "Great, now I _really_ need a shower."

Dean rolled off of her with a grimace. "I'm sorry, that was gross of me."

"Not gross, just messy." She reassured him with a lazy smile. "You look exhausted."

Dean covered his face with his pillow. "Shut up angel-face, I am exhausted."

Castiel cocked her head, glancing down at his figure. "Angel-face?"

Dean groaned and waved her off. "I'm bad at thinking of nicknames. Sweet butt? I don't know."

"I think angel-face is better than 'sweet butt'." She chuckles, lifting the pillow and pecking his cheek before standing. "I'm going to take a shower, you can rest up."

Dean nods, slumping back under the covers. "Love you."

"I love you too." she smiles, grabbing a t-shirt from the dresser and heading toward the bathroom. She starts the shower and rinses off quickly, tossing the dirty lingerie in the hamper and exiting the bathroom, heading back to bed and giving a quiet groan when the phone rings. She answers it quickly, hanging up after a few seconds of an automated message and shuffles back to bead, flicking the light off and curling up beside him.

Dean rolls over and pulled her into his arms, planting a kiss on her temple. "G'night Cas." he murmurs sleepily.

Castiel grunted, nuzzling into Dean with exhaustion. "Apparently we're getting snow tonight, they've already closed over half of the schools." she mumbles, pressing a chaste kiss to his neck and relaxing against him.

"Lucky me." he mumbles, pulling the covers over her. "Go to sleep then, we've got all day." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Want To Love You - Lenachka


	6. Mistakes Like This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Castiel will be referred to as a he and she in this chapter. Mostly 'she' in past tense. He's a guy in this chapter and the next. Sorry if it gets confusing....

The next morning, Dean awoke to a pleasant surprise, to say the least; Cas giving him an entusiastic morning blow job. He came within a matter of minutes, sighing when he crawled back up to kiss him. "Good morning to you, too, beautiful."

"Thought I'd show you I don't need to cum to make you feel good." He chuckles, wiping a trail of white from his chin.

Dean hummed and wiped the corner of his mouth before kissing him sweetly."But now I feel bad," he joked.

Castiel's nose shriveled up. "Don't kiss me I had your dick in my mouth and I haven't even brushed my teeth."

Dean laughed. "Y'know, it is _my_ cum. From _my_ body. I think you should be more grossed out by it than me."

Castiel shook his head. "It was good, I should do it more often." He mumbles, tracing circles along Dean's upper chest.

Dean grinned and tugged a hand through his tangled brunette waves. "I'm not gonna object to that."

"Breakfast first though." He grins, pecking his cheek and sitting up to stretch his arms above his head.

Dean sighs and lookes up at his with a pouty face. "But I wanna stay in bed."

"You can." He sighs, wincing when he brought his arm back down and cupping his chest cautiously. "I'll heat something up, then we can be lazy for a few hours."

Dean frowned when he saw Cas's grossed out face as he looked down at his chest. "You okay?"

"Yeah." He grunts, taking a calming breath. "They're just a little sore for some reason."

Dean frowned and shrugged. "I guess that happens. That can happen before periods, right?"

Castiel nodded. "Birth control usually weakens around the fourth month for a period, I guess it's that time already." He pouts, massaging his breasts with a small groan.

Dean frowns and sits up to kiss his cheek. " 'M sorry."

"It's fine, you didn't do anything." He sighs, leaning against him. "It's give you an excuse to touch my boobs though." He chuckles, hands retreating to his sides again.

Dean smiled and massaged his breasts gently, leaning up to kiss him as he thumbed over his nipples.

Castiel groaned through the kiss, taking relaxing breaths as Dean continued to work.

Dean hummed against his lips.. "That feel good?"

Castiel let out a shuddery breath. "It's perfect, thank you."

Dean smiled and squirmed a little. "Sorry, this is just..." he blushed and looked down at his hardening length. "Sorry."

Castiel bit his lip, breath hitching as he watched. "Dean? Can you do me a favor?"

Dean furrowed his brow and nodded. "Of course."

Castiel cupped Dean's jaw gently before bringing him close. "Fuck me into the mattress."

Dean groaned and practically slammed him back into the sheets, kissing him roughly and nipping and licking down his neck. "Love when you talk like that."

Castiel panted at the wet touches. "I'll have to keep that in mind then." He grins, trying to catch his breath.

Dean groaned and flipped him over, pulling up his hips and aligning himself with his wet opening before pushing inside of him.

Castiel groaned, blush burning his body as he panted for breath. "Fuxk, you feel so good…." He huffs, trying to rock back against Dean.

Dean grunted and wrapped an arm tight around his hips, fucking into him deep and hard. "F-fuck, Cas. K-keep talking," he groaned.

Castiel refused to be at a loss of words, clenching around him as he panted through sentences. "I bet you love fucking me too? You like fucking me?"

Dean gave a choked moan and went faster. "So much, baby. F-Fuck."

Castiel gave a high pitched whine. "I bet I feel so good, small and tight around your fat cock? Is that what I feel like?"

Dean shivered and gave it all he had, his thrusts falling out of rhythm. "Y-Yeah, babe, s-so good. Cas, I-I'm.... I'm gonna..."

"Cum." Castiel orders roughly, shivering as he held back his own orgasm. "Cum in me, please."

Dean loved how Cas's voice sounded, demanding and rough, and he did as he was told, coming with a broken shout. Castiel moaned, coming a split second later before slowly working to pull off.

Dean tightened his grip around his hips. "N-No...Just stay here for a minute," he panted.

Castiel nodded, a small moan emitting from his throat when he felt the thick liquid drip down his thighs. "Dean?"

Dean pulled out slowly, taking a deep shaky breath and wiping the sweat from his brow. "Yeah?"

"You okay?" He pants, taking deep breaths and craning his neck to look back at him.

Dean nodded, slumping down to lie with Cas. "Wow. Yeah, that was amazing."

Castiel smiled lazily, shifting to get comfortable. "We'll have to do it like that more often then."

Dean nodded breathlessly. "Fuck yeah we will. You're an amazing Dom."

Castiel hummed appreciatively. "I'll have to start using it as a treat."

Dean groaned and nuzzled him. "I love you."

"I love you too." He sighs, shifting to stand. "I'll get some food, any requests?"

Dean shook his head. "No, whatever you want is fine." He rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Castiel pads into the kitchen, cautiously making eggs to keep them from setting on fire and scooping them into a plate for Dean when he returned. He goes to work at making some coffee and groans when there's a knock at the door, signaling Gabriel. He lets him in silently, continuing to work and waiting for Dean.

Dean came out a few minutes later, wearinghis new jeans and an old flanel. He smiled at Gabriel when he saw him. "Hey."

"Hey." Gabriel nods, glancing over at Castiel before speaking again. "I've got a tiny favor I need to ask you two. My fiancé and I both have late shifts tonight and his niece and nephew are over, they're still to little to leave alone and I was hoping you guys could watch them for the night?" He asks desperately.

Dean raised a brow and looked to Castiel, hoping he would answer.

Castiel glanced over and gave Dean a confused look. "I've watched the nephew before, but it's more up to you since you don't really hang out with kids."

Dean shrugged. "Kids love me. I'm just thinking..." He shrugged. "I dunno. Kids get scarred pretty easily."

"Just don't scare them?" Gabriel scoffed. "All you have to do is feed them and put them to sleep and I'll get them in the morning. It's not really hard to take care of a four year old and a six month old."

Dean blushed slightly and rubbed a hand over his face, kicking the sex shop bag that still had the plugs in it. "That's not what I mean."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "You two can fuck like rabbits for eight hours and watch them for four, I'll have Bela get them for me at midnight and you can be weird for the rest of the night, deal?"

Dean blushed even brighter. "No, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

"No, it's apparently not fine." Gabriel chuckles. "I'm sure you two have very important matters to attend to this evening."

Dean had to laugh at that. "No, no, it's really okay."

Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, glaring at Dean through lidded eyes.

"Gabriel stop that you're scaring him." Castiel muttered, handing Dean a plate of half burnt eggs.

Dean chuckled and busied himself with his plate. "Thank you, Cas."

"So, kids or nah?" Gabriel sighs, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

"Yeah, sure." Dean mumbles, picking the charred parts off of his eggs.

"Thank you!" Gabriel squealed, hugging at Dean's chest. "God bless you pot man. I'll drop em' off at eight and Bela will be by to get them at twelve, easy?"

Dean smiled and shook him off. "Yeah, sure. Easy." he mumbles, waving as Gabriel left the apartment.

“Are you sure you’re okay with watching them? I haven’t met their new baby, but Alfie was a pain last time."

Dean gave her a doubtful look. "Alfie? What's the other kid's name?"

"Emma." Castiel sighs, rejecting her breakfast and leaning the small of his back against the counter.

Dean shrugged. "Should be fine. Kids love me."

"Good." Castiel sighs, taking Dean's plate from him. "Alfie hated me last time I took care of him." He mumbles, scraping the half-burnt eggs from the plate. "How about you make some edible breakfast while I do a load of laundry and get the mail?"

Dean smiled and nodded. "Good plan. You're good at many things, but cooking isn't one. Sorry, hun."

"Yeah yeah Betty Crocker." Castiel mumbled, scoping through the living room and bathroom for dirty clothes. He throws them in the wash, doing lights first before heading back in the kitchen and pecking Dean's cheek. "I'll be back in two minutes or so." He sighs, pulling a hoodie over his shirt and readjusting his sweatpants before heading out.

Dean nods, dishing the two of them up while he was out and smiling gently at him when he returned. "Here you go."

Castiel took a deep breath, giving a soft smile at the food. "Thanks." He sighs, tossing a few envelopes on the table and stabbing a few eggs.

Dean nods and frowns. "You okay?"

"Yeah…." Castiel mumbles. "Just a little nervous, I got a letter from someone in New York… something about art…."

Dean grinned and grabbed the stack of envelopes, leafing through them. "What?!? That's awesome!"

Castiel fumbled to pull the letter from his sweatpants pockets, reading it over. "It's just something about needing an ice sculpture for New Year's Eve." He sums up, handing the letter over.

Dean shrugged and read it. "That's still really cool."

Castiel bit his lip. "I don't think I'd be able to do it though. I still have classes here and then we'd have to fly there, plus it'd be expensive to stay there for a while."

Dean sighed. "They'd pay for you to do it though, right? Commission and all that?"

"I guess… if they were that desperate…." Castiel mumbles.

Dean nudged him with a smile. "C'mon! You should try it."

"We'd be living in a whole new area, not to mention the flight." Castiel sighs, taking another bite. "But, I mean, it's a huge money prize. I could probably go to college with that much...."

Dean grimaced at the mention of flying, but shook his shoulder nonetheless. "C'mon, Cas. Please do it..."

Castiel thought over it, a small smile creeping through his blush. "Fine, I'll make an ice sculpture. But you've gotta come too, promise?"

Dean winced slightly. "I..." he sighed. "I'll go. Even on a plane."

Castiel raised an eyebrow, studying Dean's response for a moment before speaking again. "You're uncomfortable flying?"

He nodded. "Terrified, actually. But I'll do it. For you."

Castiel gave a gentle smile, taking Dean's hand into his. "Hey, you can just take a melatonin and listen to some music and take a nap. That would make it easier, right?"

Dean nodded, smiling a bit at his concern. "I'll be fine, Cas. Honest."

"Alright, but we'll have to get you some more clothes. Warmer ones since it's further north. Then we'd have to get everything packed and I'd have to get days off…." He rambles, drifting through it with a mumble. "It's gonna be difficult."

Dean sighed. " _Cas_. Come on. Don't try and talk yourself out of this."

Castiel bit his lip, still in thought. "We'll go, I'm just saying it's gonna be a hell of a lot of work before we actually get there. We'd have to find a place to stay that wouldn't cost us selling our souls, I'd have to find a doctor and pharmacy for my birth control, you'd have to find a place to work if you still want to. I'm not saying I won't go, it'll just be a lot of work." Castiel mumbles, glancing through the letter and stiffening up.

Dean sighed. "It's a great chance, Cas. It'd be an awesome opportunity for you."

Castiel swallowed thickly, closing the letter back up. "I'll see when I can book a flight. We'll have to get you a suitcase too. And a razor, you're getting scruff."

Dean rubbed his jaw. "You don't like it? I like it."

"No it's adorable. Makes you look older. But it's gotta be itchy, right?"

Dean shrugged."It's not bad." He yawned and stretched his arms. "So, whats the plan for today?"

"I'll have to call the man about it." He mumbles, throat feeling tight at the thought.

Dean nodded. "So no "lessons" today, huh?" he asks with a smirk.

"I could fit one in." He grins. "It might have to be quick or doubled with something. But I can fit it in."

Dean smiled and nodded, tugging him closer and grinning up at him. "Sure. We can try that whole making-me-feel-good thing," he offered. "I think trying anal with that dildo would feel amazing."

Castiel squirmed awkwardly in his seat. "I'd prefer to try it regularly like when I first began with you."

Dean ginned at him. "We can do that... I was sort of hoping that _you_  would use the dildo on _me_...."

Castiel blushed, breath hitching at the idea. "I think I can do that, it may help me better understand when I try it."

Dean grinned and pulled Cas closer, wrapping his arms around his hips and looking up at him, chin pressed between his hipbones. He grins, lifting the hem of Cas's shirt to suck a small mark into the skin just above the waistband of his jeans.

Castiel panted a bit, hands snaking through Dean's hair. "I-I thought we were making you feel good...."

Dean nipped at his skin before looking back up at him. "We will."

"Let me-" Castiel whines, pressing his thighs together and panting.

Dean raised a brow, pushing his knees between Cas's legs so they couldn't touch. "You can."

Castiel groaned, blushing at the damp patch forming between his thighs. "Dean...."

Dean looked up at him innocently. "What?"

"Please..." Castiel whines. "Bed, please...."

Dean nods, standing and tugging Cas into the bedroom. He smiles wickedly as he leans away from Cas’ attempt to kiss him. "Uh-uh. My turn, remember?"

Castiel nods, taking a shaky breath. "I-I actually don't know what you're referring to. Is it of the dildo?"

Dean nodded, leaning over to grab the bottle of lube and the dildo. "I miss getting fucked up the ass."

Castiel hung his head a bit. "If you wish to go out for that, I won't be mad."

Dean frowned and shook his head, taking Cas's hand. "No, baby. I love you, I wouldn't wanna be with anyone except you."

"No, no!" Castiel blurted. "I didn't mean that you should leave, I mean like go to a bar and get a guy. I won't be mad."

Dean frowned. "That'd be cheating. I don't cheat, not even if you think you'd be okay with it."

Castiel looked up at him through his eyelashes. "Alright, but it's fine either way. I mean, if you need a guy buddy then that's fine."

Dean shook his head. "This'll be just fine, don't worry."

Castiel nods and takes the dildo and lube from him. "Are you sure you trust me with this?"

Dean nods, stripping off his shirt. "Of course. Just make sure you stretch me out like I did with you."

Castiel nods, taking a shaky breath and watching as Dean undressed. "Would it be more arousing for you if I were to wear the slip? It seemed to do wonders for you before."

Dean shrugs and tugs Cas closer, licking at the mark on his waist that he had left a bit earlier. "You don't have to, only if you want."

Castiel blushes. "I just wanted to offer in case I wasn't too good at this that you'd still be able to enjoy something. Whether it be to see me or not."

Dean licked at his skin a bit, humming against him. "Believe me, just you it fantastic. With or without the slip." He paused. "Maybe the stockings though. Those were nice."

Castiel's face burned a bit brighter as he pressed his thighs together again. "I know the stockings are clean, the slip's in the dryer so I'm not entirely sure if it would be done."

Dean smiled and pushed his hand between Cas's thighs, rubbing the heel of his hand into the warm, throbbing flesh covered by sweatpants. "Whatever you want, baby."

Castiel's lips quiver at the touch. "I'll get the stockings." He blurts, shifting away from Dean and off the bed toward the laundry room.

Dean frowns as Cas stands, speaking before the other leaves the room. "You okay?" be asks nervously. "You seem nervous."

Castiel swallows and stiffens up. "I am. I'm not sure what I'm doing and it's the natural human reaction to be nervous or afraid of it. But I'm going to try."

Dean frowns and stands, taking Cas's hand and squeezing gently. "Look, I don't wanna make you nervous. We can take it slow today. No big deal, I promise."

"I can do it." Castiel breathes out. "It'll be a bit weird and I might mess up a bit, but I can do it."

Dean raises a brow. "I want you to be really sure. You don't need to do this. I won't be mad."

Castiel shakes his head. "I want to do this. You said you miss it, and I want to make you feel good."

Dean raises a brow. "I want you to be really sure. You don't need to do this. I won't be mad."

"I can do it." Castiel blurts, letting out a shaky breath. "I can do it."

Dean nods, pulling him back towards the bed. "Okay. It's fine, okay? You'll be just fine."

Castiel nods, standing again and heading for the laundry room. "I'll be back momentarily."

Dean sighs but let's him go, pumping his length in a tight palm to stay stiff.

Castiel returns a few moments later, readjusting the hem of the stocking as he shifted to sit on the bed. "Are you ready?"

Dean smiled and motioned for him to come closer, kissing him softly. "You look so good, Cas. So nice for me," he murmured.

Castiel blushes, pressing his thighs together again. "D-due to my upcoming period, I'm practically ovulating. I'm-I'm a bit more receptive and… well…." He mumbles, reaching behind to pull his thighs apart. "I'm a bit… wetter…."

Dean groans as his eyes scan over Cas's pink flesh, shiny with his slick arousal. He reached out to gently stroke between his folds with a feather light touch. "Can... can I taste?"

Castiel's face burns and he nods. "Not too much, I still need to make you feel good."

He nods, nuzzling into the other's sex and licking a slow, sharp line along him, groaning at the thick, musky taste.

Castiel starts to pant, fingers snaking through Dean's short hair. "Dean...." he groans, tugging gently at Dean's hair. "Either let me use the dildo with you or fuck me until I can't breathe."

"So good, Cas..." He murmurs, completely ignoring Castiel.

"Please, let me make you feel good.…" Castiel breathes out, shoulders slumping as he caught his breath.

Dean kisses him softly, fingering him harder. "You don't like this?"

Castiel gasps, hips stuttering at the touch. "I-I do…."

Dean nuzzles into his neck. "Then just let me have this right now," he murmurs, curling his fingers just right.

Castiel groans, tearing up in pleasure. "Dean… please…."

Dean frowns, slowing his movement and looking Cas in the eye. "Cas? Do you want this? " he asked cautiously. He had forgotten, In his haste, about getting Cas's consent.

"Yes, please...  _please_." He whines.

Dean smiles a bit , curling a third finger into him and sucking a mark on his collarbone.

Castiel moans, shifting off of Dean. "Last I checked, you enjoy seeing what you do." he pants, shifting to press his chest to the mattress and bowing his back.

Dean can't take it anymore, the lack of friction and the aching in his too swollen length. He wrapped an arm around Cas's hips and lifts him, pushing in with a groan. He grunts as he bucks into Cas quickly, the relief so sudden and perfect.

Castiel pants and nearly sobs at the relieving feeling, pushing back against Dean desperately.

Dean hardly sets a rhythm, just moves in any way and timing that feels good, the sounds of Cas's pleasure fueling him to go harder.

"Dean, Dean, Dean...." Castiel pants and whines out, breath getting forced out with every thrust.

Dean groans as he nears his orgasm. "C-Cas... Fuck, baby, you sound so good... Feel good, shit." He finally feels himself losing control, coming inside of Cas without so much as a warning or second thought. Dean pulls out, ignoring his own exhaustion to flip him over and eat him out until he felt his whole torso clenching and shaking.

Castiel keeps in position, trembles raking through his body. "Dean...." he chokes out.

Dean keeps at it, swallowing his own cum mixed with Cas' as it drips from him.

"Dean, Dean please-" Castiel chokes out, voice catching on his breath.

Dean moves his hand up to quickly rub her. "C'mon, baby. Come for me."

"Dean, please-stop!" Castiel chokes.

Dean frowns and stops immediately, moving up the bed to look at her face. "You ok? Cas? What's wrong, baby?"

Castiel whines, sitting up slowly and cupping his hand over the entrance. "I-I think you t-tore me." he replies shakily, looking down at his bloodied hand.

Dean’s eyes widen as he sees the blood on Cas's fingers. "Oh, God... I'm so sorry, baby, fuck... I should've slowed down, I'm sorry...." He murmured, pushing her hair back from her forehead and kissing it. "How bad does it hurt?"

Castiel winces, cupping his hand back over the rim. "It really hurts Dean...." he whines, nearly about to cry.

Dean nods and chews his bottom lip. "Ok, babe, here what we're gonna do. I'm gonna fill up a bath for you, and then while you're in there I'll get some ibuprofen and I'll change the sheets, and then if you feel like you need to we'll go to the doctor."

Castiel nods, shifting to stand and hissing out in pain. "Please, hurry."

Dean had already gone into the bathroom to start the water and plug the drain, and he came back to the bedroom quickly, gingerly picking Castiel up bridal style and setting him in the warm water.

Castiel hissed at the touch, face falling flat when the water started to turn pink. "I'm sorry, I should have said something."

Dean shakes his head as he pulls on a pair of pajama pants. "No, babe. I'm sorry, I went to hard. I need to remember to be more gentle." He kisses her cheek and sighs. "I'll change the sheets and call the doctor, ok? Unless you don't want me to."

"Doctor, please." Castiel grits out, holding the side of the tub with white knuckles.

Dean nods, taking a bottle of Advil from the bathroom counter and filling the mouthwash cup with water. "Here, angel. Take these and I'll go take care of everything, ok?"

Castiel does as told and leans back into the tub with a small whine in pain.

Dean goes to change the sheets, putting the old ones in the laundry hamper and then going to call first the doctor, then Gabriel. "Hey, man. It's Dean..."

Gabriel sounds as though he's struggling with something. "Uh yeah, what do you need?" "

I, un..." He sighs and rubs his hand over his face. "I need to take Cas to the doctor and I don't want him to have to take the bus and I'm wondering if I could use your car."

Gabriel's quiet for a moment. "What. Did. You. Do?"

Dean blushes. Of course he's have to explain to this guy the rough sex he'd just had with his sister. "I, uh... We were having sex. And it was a little... rough, and we're pretty sure I tore her, uh, his.... Um, y'know...." 

You absolute dickhead." Gabriel mutters, hushing something away from the phone. "I'll be there to pick you guys up, but you're gonna have to hold the baby." he says quickly, hanging up without another word.

Dean sighs and hangs up, going back to the bathroom where it looked as though Cas had relaxed somewhat. "Hey, babe, your brothers gonna drive us to the doctor, okay?" He asks, kneeling down and brushing his hair back.

Castiel nods, shifting around a bit. "I suppose I have to actually wear clothes for that and not just knee socks.”

Dean helps him up and assists him as he walks into the bedroom, sitting him down on the bed and pulling a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt from the drawer . "Here, angel."

"Thank you." Castiel mumbles weakly, shifting into the sweatshirt and pulling up the leggings.

Dean nods and quickly dresses in jeans and an old flannel, sitting with him and rubbing her back soothingly. "How you doin?"

"Well, I'm not bleeding to death. So I think I'm okay." he sighs, running a hand over his eyes.

Dean nods, gently kissing his cheek and fixing his mussed waves. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to hurt you..."

"It's fine, it's just really sore." Castiel reassures him, shifting on the bare mattress.

Dean nods, gently rubbing his shoulders and back. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." Castiel chuckles weakly, turning to hug him. "I mean, it'll be a pain in the butt to deal with and no sex for a while, but it's fine."

Dean nods, kissing his cheek. "That's ok. I just want you to feel better."

"I will, we just gotta be more careful." he sighs, leaning against Dean. "I love you."

Dean nods, rubbing over his back slowly. "I love you too, babe."

Castiel smiles gingerly, leaning into Dean's touch and stiffening up at a knock at the door. "That's probably Gabriel." he sighs, glancing over when he entered the bedroom holding a toddlers hand with an infant strapped to his chest.

"Car. Now." he grits out, waving them over.

Dean snorts as he follows them out to the car, helping Cas walk.

Gabriel instructs Castiel to sit up front of the Prius, setting Dean in the back with Alfie, the toddler, and Emma, the infant whom he was told to hold for the ride. "No fussing, I have a low tolerance for anything right now."

Dean nods, holding the infant to his chest and cooing softly to her as she gurgles and babbles.

Castiel tilts her head and smiles, reaching back and setting his hand on Dean's knee as the baby gurgled.

Dean smiles and squeezes his hand, grinning as the baby tugged on two tiny fistfuls of his hair.

"I haven't seen their new baby." Castiel mumbles, glancing over at Emma. "She's adorable, looks a bit like you."

Dean smiled and nodded. "She's really sweet," he agreed.

"That may just be because she's an infant and can't cause extreme damage." Castiel chuckles, offering a finger toward her and chuckling when Emma grabbed hold of it.

Dean smiled and kissed her chubby cheek, tickling her sock covered toe. "I love babies," he said with a smile.

"I don't have much experience with them." Castiel sighs glumly. "Her brother hated me when he was her age."

Dean frowned, nuzzling Emma and laughing when she gurgled. "Have you ever thought about having a baby?" He asked curiously, not noticing how Gabriel tensed at the question.

Castiel keeps quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I always wanted to be a mom when I was younger. A lot of stuff has happened though."

Dean frowned, bouncing her on his leg. "What do you mean?"

Castiel parts her lips and presses them together again, nearly about to speak before Gabriel stopped the car and looked back at Dean, taking Emma and plopping her in Castiel's lap to keep Dean focused on him.

“We are not going to have this conversation right now." he snaps, flashing Castiel a guilty look. "I’ll explain later." he mumbles, shaking a bit.

Dean’s frown deepened. "God, what happened?"

Gabriel swallows thickly. "I'll tell you later. I just don't want to do it in front of him." he mutters, wiping a clammy hand over his mouth and glancing over at Castiel.

Dean nods slowly. "I... Okay. You alright?"

Gabriel nods. "Yeah, just, let’s not talk about it right now.”

Castiel flashes Dean a smile, patting Emma's back. "Would you like to take her back?”

Dean smiles and shakes his head. "That's ok. I think she enjoys being with you."

"I think that must be a mistake of thought, I'm not the best with children." Castiel chuckles weakly, trying to offer Dean Emma again.

Dean shrugs and takes the baby, kissing the top of her head and bouncing her.

Castiel flashes a weak smile, almost longing as Emma circled and grabbed at Dean. He glances out the window, noticing that they had pulled up to the hospital. He starts to shift out of his seat, getting a hand from Gabriel who had quickly rounded the car to open the door for him.

"You need help?" Dean asked as Cas as he began to stand.

"Nah, I think I'm good." He replied weakly, taking Gabriel's hand as he guided Castiel and Alfie toward the entrance.

* * *

 

Once Cas was settled with his doctor, Dean focused on Gabriel.. "Okay. Now will you explain?"

Gabriel wipes a hand over his face. "Yeah, you might want to sit down for this."

Dean frowns and takes a seat. "Alright...."

Gabriel sits down beside him, leaning into his knees and hanging his head. "Four years ago, I didn't have this job. Cas didn't have all of his medicine, and we couldn't even afford to live on our own. We had to stay in a nursing home and do chores to live." He sighs, pressing his lips together. "One day, Cas didn't come home. I was so exhausted I didn't even think to call any of her friends. And that one thing caused everything to fuc-mess up." He stammers, staring at Alfie and trying to keep a filter on his words. "Once I realized she hadn't been to school either, I called the cops. It took six months, but some lady ended up finding her in a barn that appeared to be a makeshift brothel. She'd been drugged, had alcohol forced into her, was raped and assaulted numerous times, and had gotten pregnant. That's why she was left behind. That's why I got to her. But when I went to the hospital to see her, she didn't remember anything, they'd already removed the baby because she was beat so much that it couldn't even live, so I lied. I told her that she got really sick and that it was all over. I ended up being broke, the nursing home kicked us out because her accident was bad publicity, and we ended up on the streets where I finally told her what happened. Eventually, in the winter, a man came up and told me that if my story was interesting, he'd offer me a job. And that's how I became a worker for the secret service." Gabriel explains, hands starting to shake. "It's all my fault. Now she has irregular periods, none of her birth control is helping, and it's all because I couldn't bother to think that maybe she was in trouble."

Dean's eyes were wide, his eyes welling. "I... Oh my god. That's so scary. I can't... God, I can't imagine that. I'm so sorry.”

Gabriel nods, pushing back his shaggy hair. "He's fine now. That's the reason I'm so careful with him, I don't want anything bad to happen again. That's… also the reason I started punching you. I thought you were maybe one of his customers from way back when. I’m sorry that happened."

Dean shook his head, leaning forward on his elbows and sighing heavily. "I get that. Oh, God, that's... That's so awful. That's _awful_." He wipes over his eyes. "I can't... You know I love him, right? I've never known this soon, but I just know."

Gabriel nods, chuckling weakly. "Good, because I've had to do a lot of bad stuff to keep this job, so if I'm out, he's all alone again."

Dean nods. "Should I... I mean, do I tell him I know?" "Yeah...."

Gabriel nods. "Just don't try to feel sorry for him, it makes him feel worse. Just tell him you know and that you're gonna be there for him."

Dean nods. "Ok. Ok, I can do that."

"Thank you, Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes Like This - Prelow


	7. All Their Broken Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We haven't really written anything so I'll just be posting some of the things that happened in the past to Gabe and Castiel to lead up to the moment or something idk

_19 years ago..._

* * *

 

Gabe, naturally, had been resilient since the incident. It was a miracle and a tragic loss since he'd lost the only person he'd seen as a mother since his own had passed four years before. Angela was a wonderful woman, her mother had moved to America from Russia, so she always had candy for Gabriel and his brothers. His favorite being Птичье Молоко, or roughly translated as 'Pigeon's Milk'. It was like a vanilla flavored marshmallow drenched in sweet, milk chocolate. Angela always remembered to save them for him. He could recall Lucifer and Michael enjoying Романмка which was easily described as a cookie with strawberry syrup under a chocolate coat. It wasn't as easy to pronounce in English for him then, the translation having now slipped from his memory. 

Angela was like the second mom he'd had. 

He could remember meeting her for the first time, watching her crouch down and push her dark hair behind her shoulders as she handed him the marshmallow-like candy. He could still hear her soothing voice tell him how he seemed to be a little boy who 'liked lots of candy'. He had nodded, taking it from her cautiously and constantly asking if she had had any more.

But Angela was gone. She'd died only a few months ago, less than six he guessed. It was hard to remember. When was the last time he ate? Or even got out of bed for that matter? His father was clearly worried, having no time to work on his books with four boys and the triplets to watch over. He bit his lip, remembering that Angela had sacrificed her life for them. Telling the doctors that she didn't care what happened to her, just as long as the baby girl came into the world happily and healthily. He, of course, hadn't heard her say it herself. He was only seven years old, waiting out in the hall with his brothers. Anxiety was thick in the air, only Michael and Lucifer knew what was going on, Gabriel and Raphael still being too young to understand. It was guessed that Angela wouldn't live for very long anyway. All of the boys had lost their mothers in some way. Michael and Luke had lost theirs when they were six months old, their mother had been hit by a drunk driver on her way home from work. Raphael's mother died from skin cancer before he could even sit up, and Gabriel's mother had passed after being shot by a meth addict while on a drug's bust with her team. He was only five, but he could still remember her gold eyes, how she ruffled his hair and called him her 'ragamuffin'.

He's broken out of his thoughts when his door opens, his father cradling one of the triplets as he neared Gabriel's bed.

"How're you doin' bud?" He mumbles, jaw tightening when Gabriel had barely acknowledged him coming in. "I know you miss her, I do too."

Gabriel shifts around under his thick blanket, eyes darting up to the baby girl cradled in his fathers arms. She was the only daughter, the only sister he'd ever had.

"Gabe," his father sighs, running a hand through his hair. "You can't stay holed up in your room for the rest of your life. I know it hurts, but we've gotta move on. We can't do anything to bring her back." he stops when the baby in his arms starts to fuss, squirming around in his arms. "She looks just like her, y'know. She's got her eyes." he chuckles, staring down at the baby. "I mean, I know she isn't her. But she's still a part of her, it's almost as if she's still here."

"But she isn't." Gabriel croaks out, his voice dry and quiet. "You said it yourself, she's gone."

"But it's almost like she lives on in her." His father explains, letting the baby hold his finger. 

"Castiel." Gabriel mumbled, staring down at his pillow. "She wanted to name her that." 

"Yeah, I made sure she got her last wish." his father sighs, pressing a kiss to the baby's forehead. "Castiel Angela Edlund."

"Novak." Gabriel corrects him. "She should have her last name if she's going to have her recognized in her middle name."

His father nods, ghost blue eyes softening at the thought. "Yeah, Castiel Angela Novak."

 _ангел_ _._ He can almost hear Angela say.  _Мой маленький ангел._

_Angel. My little angel._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with us it means so much to us!
> 
> All Their Broken Hearts - Julie Doiron


	8. Snap Out Of It

_2 years ago...._

* * *

 

Castiel shifted her weight around, uncomfortable in every position she'd tried so far. She grunts, panting for her breath and barely managing to lift her head before calloused hands lifted her chin for her.

"You're so pretty." the man coos, studying her and turning her head either way. She whines, neck sore from being craned in different positions all day. She feels a harsh sting to her cheek, realizing she must have done something wrong. "Look at me when I talk to you." the man ordered, smiling when Castiel struggled to do so. "Good bitch." he hums, patting her red cheek gently. "You've been raking in a lot of money for me lately..." he hums, walking away from her and pulling a large wad of cash from his pocket. "You've been keeping my business kicking for a good year or so, but sadly, I've gotta let you go." He sighs, snickering at Castiel's hopeful glance. "No no, not like that. There's a way I let all my best employee's go." he smirks, bringing his fingers to his mouth and letting out a low whistle. 

The scuffle of boots echoes through the vacant barn, hay and dust kicking up in the air and stinging Castiel's eyes. She chokes around the cloth tied between her teeth, barely managing to glance back before seeing all the customers of the day, smiling at her from the shadows of the dimly lit area. Her vision changes when the man grabs her chin again, forcing her to look up at him. "You were a very good bitch, and now, that's all your going to remember being." he chuckles, patting her cheek and turning on his heel. "Have at her boys." he laughs, waving his hand in the air to let them do as they please.

Castiel wriggles in the ropes around her arms, screaming into the cloth ball rammed in her mouth as belt buckles simultaneously fell to the dirt floor of the barn.

 

"Castiel!" Gabriel shouts, patting her cheek. "Castiel, come on kiddo wake up!" he huffs, pulling her up into a sitting position.

Castiel groans, head bobbing a bit before she focused on her older brother. "Gabe...." she mumbles, staring at him for a moment before breaking down crying. "I had that nightmare again...." she blubbered, holding onto his shirt and burying her face into his chest.

Gabriel held her close, one arm around her back and the other cradling her head. "You're okay kiddo, I've got ya." he sighs, swaying back and forth slowly. "It's never going to happen, you'll be safe."

 

_Мой маленький ангел._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snap Out Of It - Arctic Monkeys


	9. Graveyard Whistling

_20 years ago...._  
  
Gabriel trudged up the hill alongside his father, his brothers moping behind him along with the rest of the conjoined family. He could feel something inside of him, something tearing up his six-year-old self. It burned, made him want to just collapse on the floor and let the dirt swallow him up. His father had worried about him being 'too young to understand'. But even he could put together the meaning of 'mommy is dead'. It meant that his mother would not be tucking him in at night, kissing him awake in the morning, taking him to the sweet shop after school and during the summer or reading him the story of the seven Chinese sisters and how they saved the youngest from the dragon whenever he woke up from a nightmare. It meant that a part of his life was over. For once he understood Annie in the play, but worse. He actually got to meet his parents and fall in love with them only to watch one vanish before his eyes, like sand through loose fingers. He snapped out of his thoughts, holding the daisies in his tiny fist as the gloomy men unloaded the big shiny box with his mom inside. It was silver, like the color of her favorite ring that her grandfather had given her. He could recall sitting in his mothers lap, the scent of caramel lingering on her skin as she explained that her grandfather fought in a big war and saved some bullets. When he got back to America he melted them down into a ring and gave it to his great-grandmother to show that not even a war could stop his love for her. It seemed like a big fairy tale to him then, but he begged god, or whatever mysterious force he was supposed to believe in that his mother would come back to life and tell him the story again. Tell him how his great-grandfather had gotten wounded but still fought to be with the love of his life, and for everything to fall into place. He could practically hear her telling it to him, but then he realized it was his father telling him to put the bouquet of daisies on the coffin. He nodded slowly, walking up to the box and stepping on his tip-toes to set them down on the silk banner that lay over top of it. Surely it was a dream. Surely he would put the flowers down and he could wake up and hold his mother again, smell the aroma of her bakery on her clothes. But as he heard the small shift of the bouquet hitting the surface of the coffin, it hit him that it wouldn't happen. That this was how it was going to be, and he couldn't take any of it back. Now, after trudging up a muddy hill on the sunniest day of his life, he finally understood 'mommy is dead'.  
Everything that had to do with her was dead too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing But Thieves - Graveyard Whistling


	10. Stressed Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god it's so slow and I don't like this chapter but I felt bad that there were no updates here you go

_2 years ago...._

* * *

  
Gabriel ran a hand through his hair, flipping through the envelopes on their kitchen table. Bill, bill, bill, letter from Jimmy, another bill. Nothing was exactly new, except for Castiel's condition. Since they had gotten their own apartment he'd seemed more relaxed. He found himself having to buy sketchpads for him since he'd always run out of paper and end up doodling on napkins and such. It was... dark. Some of the artwork he found disturbed him, but he didn't want to upset Castiel. Not with everything picking back up.  
Castiel had recently gotten a binder, now that they had the money it was a lot easier for Gabriel to provide for his seventeen-year-old brother. Sometimes it would be hard figuring out what pronouns to use, but luckily Castiel never got upset if Gabriel called him a her or her a him. It would take time, but he was starting to see a pattern. Sometimes Castiel would comb his hair a way if he was a girl, but it wasn't always. Sometimes it would be easier to tell if Castiel got dressed and ready before he went to work so that he could tell if he was wearing a binder or not.  
With the thought of work, he threw away any junkmail and left the bills on the counter by the stove. He passed into the living room, wrapping a blanket tighter around Castiel who had fallen asleep on the couch watching movies. He kissed his head, turning out the lamp by the couch and heading out of the apartment. He would have never guessed that at, twenty-four-years-old, he would be in his line of work. He didn't exactly have employees, he honestly just had a boss: Crowley. The man who had found him and Castiel freezing to death in an alleyway not too long ago. He gave information and a location to Gabriel and he had to finish whatever the mission was with no questions asked. He was good at his job, never tried to find out more information than needed. He was even allowed to choose his agents. He had quite a few, all of different ages. Charlie was twenty-five, they'd met at the nursing home when she was looking for her mother, it had ended up that her mother was dead and the empty room was given to Gabriel and Castiel. Charlie had gone to the military after that, ranked the number one sniper in her division but had lost an eye for it, causing her to be sent home. There was Donna, the woman who had rescued Castiel from the abandoned barn where he had been left behind. Then, of course, Bela Tabolt, a young woman who was a part time spy. It was easy for her, being beautiful and smart. She could easily find her way out of any situation and get any information Gabriel needed to use against the mission. He had more, of course, but none of them were as reliable as the rest. He shrugged his coat on, stepping into the elevator and letting it carrying him up to the roof where he was immediately met with the sound of a helicopter. Great, that meant the mission was serious and needed to be dealt with urgently. He stepped out, waving hello to Charlie who had been sitting beside the empty seat for him. He looked around before he stepped on, admiring the view from the top of their building.  
"You comin' candy man?" Charlie called out, relaxing in her seat.  
Gabriel nodded slowly, boarding the aircraft. "I don't eat candy anymore." he mumbled, unable to help his laughter when Charlie snickered.  
"Fuck your diet." She smiled, shutting the door as they took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stressed Out - Twenty One Pilots

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure when this'll be uploaded, or what days it'll be updated. But heckie yeah, another fic to waste my life on.  
> Ha.  
> Ha ha.


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